Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap... you decide.

Really, I AM still here! :)

2010-11-24T09:08:00.000-08:00

So many things have been happening in the last two years that I have neglected to post any updates on my blog, but I will get back to it,.. and soon. My apologies to anyone that still bothers reading it~ Much love & blessings, NeeNee

The Day the Eagle Cried - 9/11 Memorial

2009-09-11T10:32:00.000-07:00

Many, if not most, of you know, I try to repost this every year.
I wrote it on the first anniversary after this tragedy happened.

The Day The Eagle Cried

In Steadfast Memory of 9/11/01.
By Tah-nee A. Holloway © 2002-09 ARR

A beautiful morning, that September dawn,
The sun shining down, life strolling along,
Children eating breakfast, mom straightening dad's tie,
Not knowing how shortly the nation would cry "why?"
Too soon the pain coming would be realized,
This was the day the eagle would cry...
---
Planes flying closely, their intent we'd soon know,
With loved ones held captive by terrorist foe,
Through one crash, then another, the towers did sway,
They tumbled and crumbled, then gave away,
Tears streamed down, hearts broke inside,
It was the day the eagle cried...
---
Sirens screaming, smoke climbed the skies,
Our heros ran quickly with tears in their eyes,
Firefighters determined to find & rescue,
Worked side by side with their brothers in blue,
But one loss after another, the numbers did tally,
Soul after soul walked through the Valley,
As viewers sat glued to their sets nationwide,
That terrible day the eagle cried...
---
The terror this day had only begun,
Still more crashes came, the tragedy not done,
The assassins continued, more pain they'd inflict,
The heart of the Pentagon would be their next hit,
Soon after brave passengers would falter their plan,
As their plane crashed down on Pennsylvania land,
Instead of the White House, believed the next site,
The eagle cried out as more people died...
---
Years gone by, the pain is still real,
But steadily God touches us, and we begin to heal,
We'll not ever forget, the memory lives on,
Our prayers continue, our faith keeps us strong,
With His Word to guide us, the horizon's in sight,
In spite of their efforts, together we'll fight,
No terror how great can make us divide,
Not even the day the eagle cried.

And THANK YOU:

To every past, present & future U.S. sailor, soldier, airman, marine, coast guardsman, police officer & firefighter. For all those who are gone, but not forgotten, and for the loved ones left behind. For all those who carry on to fight the good fight... For those who are often slighted despite their efforts,... GOD BLESS YOU!!

I'm Still Here......

2009-09-11T10:29:00.000-07:00

I know, it's been about 9 months since I've posted anything..... a LOT has taken place in my life and I reclused. My apologies, and I will try to start posting updates again in the near future. (((HUGS)))

WE WILL BE HEARD!

2009-01-23T12:40:00.000-08:00

Copied from an earlier post:
"This campaign is committed to making the case for Lyme Disease heard by engaging your Governor, members of your State Senate, members of your State House, the President of the United States, members of the US Senate and members of the US House of Representatives.

The purpose of this petition is to make our voice heard in the fight against Lyme Disease. We need to establish as many signatures as we can muster in hopes to convince the Congressional Senators and House Representatives to see our movement through as they are the ones holding up the HR-741 and S-1408 Lyme Disease Bills in Washington DC.

WE INTEND TO BE HEARD."

New message: I just have to add one more--

In my last post, I shared my revision of the petition letter. I felt the need to personalize it and take a more dramatic approach. I was striving to electrify it-- I wanted it to jump off the page so hopefully it will really penetrate and they'll take notice. They need to realize that we do mean business. That this is an important and an extraordinary issue, we're passionate about it, and ultimately, WE WILL BE HEARD.

I want everyone to know that I did not share my version for any form of attention, but rather in hopes to inspire others. We need to stir the fire-- With every added voice, the sound gets louder and more impressive! WE WILL BE HEARD!

I entered mine last night, and my letter submission counted as #129..... I just checked again, and it doesn't appear there have been any new signers yet. I have emailed about 50 contacts-- I don't have nearly as many as I know most people do, but every person we can get to join us-- COUNTS! Lyme or not, pass this on... recruit, recruit, recruit!

C'mon, guys-- WE CAN DO THIS! It takes less than a minute to do your part. The site is set up so that all you have to do is enter in your information and hit "send". Eric Freedom already has his version pasted into the box. You can either leave it & submit his, or feel free to use mine as a template in place of it if you want a little more 'spice', LOL. Or, if you have the time & the drive, you can certainly write your own version.

But whatever action you choose to take, just take it, please--

If we don't take a stand, and do even this simplest form of activism, we are as guilty of idle contempt as they are. I realize that sounds caustic-- It's not intended to be. Just know I am trying to stir your hearts!

Please join us-- We NEED your voice! WE WILL BE HEARD!

http://healthcare.change.org/actions/view/lyme_disease_epidemic

(((BIG HUGS)))

Lend Us Your Voice!

2009-01-23T12:30:00.000-08:00

I feel passionate about this, and decided to rewrite the whole letter. Just wanted to share what I wrote & submitted:

Subject: Lyme Disease Pandemic

I am contacting you today because of an urgent and crucial matter: Lyme Disease.

It is pandemic and people are suffering due to poor recognition, uneducated & unwilling medical professionals, unreasonable insurance coverage, inadequate treatment protocols, and ultimately, neglect. Government action is required, and that response needs to be in the forms of providing the means for better awareness, more reliable testing, individualized and longer treatments, a stronger understanding of the disease by society in general, specific & required training of doctors and the entire medical community, and we need more clinical studies and grant financing to further indispensable research. These things are not an option, rather, they are imperative.

Lyme Disease is excrutiatingly painful and debilitating. Left untreated, it can cause it's sufferers irreversable damage including blindess, deafness, paralysis, deformities, brain damage and even death. Lyme is a relentless enemy demanding every ounce of it's host's energy, producing crippling languor and unrelenting pain & agony. It is an incapacitating affliction that depletes the entire body of valuable nutrients causing vitamin & mineral deficiencies, significant decreases in essential enzymes, causes blood sugar instability and seriously bankrupts vital hormones that are paramount to our well being. It drastically weakens our immune systems and robs us of the ability to repair & heal from wounds and other infections.

There are literally hundreds of conditions related to Lyme Disease. Compelling evidence shows that Lyme is being found to be the underlying cause in an alarming number of medical cases such as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromayalgia, Bell’s Palsy, Parkinsons, Epilepsy, Lupus, Multiple Sclerosis, Scleroderma, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Hypothyroidism, Meningitis, Dementia, and Alzheimer’s Disease just to name a few.

Countless physicians have been abhorrently tormented, degraded & demoralized for their attempts in treating suffering Lyme Disease patients, as have scientists for their fundamental research because of a lack of bureaucratic acceptance that this disease not only exists, but is a phenomenal and devestating invader.

Lyme disease is not up for debate. People are wasting away while the CDC & IDSA look the other way. Because of the guidelines that are currently in place, millions of people, like myself, continue to suffer going undiagnosed, misdiagnosed or for being blatantly refused to even be seen by medical practitioners who swore a hippocratic oathe to do no harm yet their idleness does just that. Such is in my case. I was both mocked and evaded despite the fact that I met CDC guidelines for a clinical diagnosis of Lyme, complete with evidence of a erythema migran. I was told Lyme does not exist in my state, regardless of proof that it is, and not to come back if it had to do with Lyme Disease.

Lyme is an insidious disease. I urge you to view the documentary Under Our Skin by Open Eye Pictures, and then lend us your voice in the legislation.

Your citizens are crying out to their governent for help. What will your response be?

Our voices must be heard you guys,.. PLEASE send in your letter... you can write your own or use Eric's as a template, or even mine. Just please, PLEASE help us make a difference!!

http://healthcare.change.org/actions/view/lyme_disease_epidemic

(((BIG HUGS)))

HR-741 / S-1408 Lyme Disease Bills

2009-01-23T12:14:00.000-08:00

This campaign is committed to making the case for Lyme Disease heard by engaging your Governor, members of your State Senate, members of your State House, the President of the United States, members of the US Senate and members of the US House of Representatives.

The purpose of this petition is to make our voice heard in the fight against Lyme Disease. We need to establish as many signatures as we can muster in hopes to convince the Congressional Senators and House Representatives to see our movement through as they are the ones holding up the HR-741 and S-1408 Lyme Disease Bills in Washington DC.

WE INTEND TO BE HEARD.

Please join us:
http://healthcare.change.org/actions/view/lyme_disease_epidemic

Still Kickin'... I think.

2009-01-23T11:24:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been a little over a month since I last posted-- and now we're in a new year. 2009 already,.. where does the time go??

I'm not going to go into all sorts of details because I just don't have the energy, and what little stamina I do have left, I need to apply to other areas-- stay tuned, I'll be posting on one such element shortly.

Keeping this to a minimum, I will just say, that the end of December was difficult for us. Dec. 20th, we were awakened at 5:30 AM to find that our business was on fire. The aftermath was devestating, but a month later, we are somehow surviving and this just reaffirms my belief with all certainty that God is good, and reproves my profound reliance that He will always see us through every tribulation.

December 23rd also brought heartache as my grandmother, Mary, left this world. For me, and others in the family, the day was bittersweet because although it is always difficult to let a loved one go, we know in our hearts that she is in a better place. She is finally at peace, and for that, I am exuberantly grateful.

Leading up to these two events, I had about 3 weeks of good health where I felt better than I had in several months, although I was beginning to feel myself decline again. Lyme regenerates about every 28 days so I guess I was due to herx again, but the combination of the cold from the snow & ice storms and then with adding in both of the stressful circumstances that came about, it exasperated my condition. I was thrown into a tailspin, and despite my faith, I am only human. The body can only take so much and that brought on a feeling of immense despondence for which I had to take a step back and regroup. I had to reestablish my footing. The foundation was still there-- I was just feeling out of balance. But, at this stage in my life, I am of the acceptance that God designed me for adversity. I may not understand His reasoning, but I know there is a purpose-- and I will continue to do my best to serve His Will.

I'm Going to Bermuda!!

2008-12-15T13:49:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm done.... Anybody want our snow?? It was beautiful at first, but now I'm FREEZING and feel like a human popcicle..... A ticket to Bermuda would be nice about now...Who's in??? LOL

HERE'S SOME MORE SNAPS FROM THIS MORNING. The girls tried to savor the snow because there's no telling how long it will last, but unfortunately for them, it's too icy & powdery now to make snowballs so all they could do is sling it at eachother, LOL,.. Courtney stayed inside & made pancakes,.. Britt & Ashley went outside to play, and then Brittney got it where it 'doesn't belong', and started jumping around trying to be free of it... Take a look at the pics, and you'll see what I mean. It lookd like she was bustin' out the moves at first,... then I quickly realized,.. she had snow down her pants, LOL! The pics say it all........ Have a look!

Winter Wonderland

2008-12-14T20:54:00.000-08:00

*BRRRR!!!* Baby, it's COLD outside!

We've got a few inches so far & it's still falling.... very pretty, but also very chilly. Scott ended up heading out earlier this evening to try to beat what he could of it. Once the top of the mustang was covered, we knew it probably wouldn't be a good idea for him to wait until morning when it will for sure be a sheet of ice out there. He did make it north safe & sound though. Meanwhile, my car quickly disappeared under the snowfall, LOL!

The girls were super excited and of course thoroughly enjoyed themselves....... then came in for hot cocoa in front of the fire & warm bubble baths, LOL! *wink*

Here's some snaps I grabbed tonight...

Happy Holidays

2008-12-14T10:37:00.000-08:00

With Love, from Scott, Tahnee,
Courtney, Brittney & Ashley!

Disney's Christmas Holiday Parade

2008-12-14T10:27:00.001-08:00

This is a Disney parade you can only see at Christmas time... I wish that our pictures had turned out better, but until I can upgrade my camera again, they'll have to do. It was a fantastic parade, and how excited we were to see Chip & Dale arrive in their little wind up car! Remember that little car?? Well, if you getting older like Scott & I are, and you grew up watching the old Disney cartoons, then you do. If you never saw them, or don't remember,.. even to all the young kiddies now, it was just too cute. All seven of the dwarves were there, too. I enjoy all the new Disney & Pixar characters, but the nostalgia of all the old, original characters adds that much more excitement for us! ;) We had a wonderful time, albeit COLD, it was worthwhile.

Pixie Hollow

2008-12-14T10:15:00.000-08:00

One of Disney's newest attractions that opened recently is Pixie Hollow. Shrink down to fairy size as you walk through tall grasses & flowers,... along the way, find a friend or two of Tink's! We found Silvermist...

And the star of Pixie Hollow,.... *Tinker Bell*, of course! :)

It's a Small World Christmas

2008-12-14T10:03:00.001-08:00

It's a Small World is all decked out for Christmas time! I have never seen it different before. It's looked the same for as long as I can remember. The first time I was at Disneyland, I was 9 years old, Ashley's current age. That was 25 years ago, and it still looked the same, LOL! But, for Christmas it gets an overhaul,.. decorations & music. It is a fun experience. I'm glad that we got to experience it in it's traditional manner, too, because we heard that there are plans to make some changes to the characters within Small World, to more Disney style characters, such as Lilo & Stitch in the hawaiin section and so forth. That will be cool, too, but I am glad to have gotten to see the traditional setting once more,... and decked out for Christmas. This was our first time experiencing Disneyland at Christmas time. :)

Pixar Play Parade @ Night

2008-12-14T09:51:00.000-08:00

For those who still follow this blog, you may recall this parade from when Brittney & I went on our mother-daughter trip to Disneland in May of this year. The pictures from that trip turned out much better because the parade was during the day. It was neat to see it at night, too. My camera hasn't been functioning as well at night or in low light, and movement only adds to the problem. So, these pics didn't come out as well, but we still like them. ;)

A Disneyland Christmas

2008-12-13T22:50:00.000-08:00

What a neat experience! I'll share a couple of more slide shows tomorrow of Small World all decked out for Christmas and the Disney Christmas Parade, but before I head to bed, here's one more. This is most of the rest of the pics from our week at Disneyland for the Christmas holiday season..... Much love & Have a good night! ;)

Jingle Bells @ Jelly Belly!

2008-12-13T21:50:00.000-08:00

Everybody knew how much President Ronald Reagan loved his jelly beans... Well, when I was in 1st grade, my class & I got to write him letters. In my letter, I asked him what his favorite flavor was. His favorite was licorice. Out of all the many flavors to choose from, and granted, there weren't nearly as many as there are today, but it was licorice. :)

Six Flags @ Christmas Time

2008-12-13T21:42:00.000-08:00

As you know, we got back from our holiday vacation a week ago. And as always, I have pictures to share. :)

The following are from our eveing at Six Flags for their Annual Holiday in the Park Festival. We only spent a couple of hours and just the one evening because it was so cold. We got season passes for 2009 so we'll be enjoying the park a lot more next year. We enjoyed ourselves while we were there though, and look forward to returning again soon.

Bad Apples

2008-12-13T11:38:00.000-08:00

There are some other things going on in my life right now, and have been, that I have been choosing not to post publicly on. Just know that there are things "behind the scenes" that need continued prayer for as well. Familial things outside of immediate..... my own personal. Another side of family that I just haven't been able to "let in". I try so hard to avoid conflicts and the people who contribute to them. I have been working to protect my children from all of that for the past 12 years...... ultimately, the wolf has come knocking at the door.

I have a responsibility to keep my family,.. my children safe. I am not at liberty to disclose all the information about this right now in order to help those who might follow this, to understand. You may contact me in private for that. Some people might say, "blood is blood", well, no, it's not..... we are all unique individuals in life and "blood" has absolutely nothing to do with character. You can be a good person or not....... we all have a choice. Our actions speak volumes about us, and I am not about to let certain history repeat itself.

I look at this situation, as this particular part of my family, being a bushel of shiny, green apples. But, even apples get worms and those worms can chew at the core........ they destroy the health of the fruit & it rots. Leave one bad apple, and it will slowly harm the rest. I can't have rotten apples in my life.

Busy Week

2008-12-12T16:46:00.000-08:00

Well, we've had another busy week, but I actually made it through pretty easily so it's been a nice change of pace. I'm tired at this point, but still doing well.

I really think that the new supplements are helping so I'm still anxious to start the next ones and hopefully continue to see more & more improvements, although I am still concerned about how I will respond to the abx treatments for the Lyme. A lot of people get worse before they get better, and can herx similarly to going through chemotherapy, but you never know, I may do alright since I'm in good hands with a great naturopath. I really think that when you treat the whole body, you have a better chance at making a stronger recovery. There may not be a cure, but it is possible to beat it into remission and hold it there..... that's my goal anyway.

I go back to the LLMD on Monday morning so I'll have a better update after that.

My eye appointment went well. Everything is pretty much the same so the eye pains and whatnot are most likely due to a combination between my thyroid levels being so messed up and of course the Lyme. My Rx is still the same, at least for long distance so I don't need to get new glasses for that, although he did the exact same thing again, and dilated my eyes before checking my near vision so I have to go back in to recheck that. Leave it to those KP doctors........ *rolls eyes* My optic nerves look good so we're not worried about the high-risk glaucoma category I fall into. I'm still testing high for pressure, but otherwise seem fine in that area.

Ashley had her well-checkup. I guess they still call it that even though she's 9 years old, LOL. She measured in the 25th percentiles for both height & weight. So that's come up from being in only the 5th percentile the last time she was checked. It is believed that it has everything to do with her NF. Shorter stature is common. It's been harder for her because both of her sisters have always been in the 95th percentile. Both, are a good foot taller than she is. They have been growing like weeds. I just do my best to keep her self-esteen built up and remind her how very special she is. That she's just exactly the way God made her, and some of the most wonderful things come in smaller packages. *wink*

Are You Sure You're Ready for This Update??

2008-12-09T17:18:00.000-08:00

Well, we made it back safe & sound from our holiday vacation, and what a ride it was!
It seemed that things were not meant to go well for our departure as thing after thing went haywire, but everything still turned out.

I had a last minute doctor appointment the day we were to leave, in order to get my pain medication so I could be comfortable for the trip. I didn't know how else I was going to pull it off in the shape I had been in for the last couple of months. Well, the appt. that should've only taken a half hour, ended up with me there for THREE hours.

First, when I got there I had to stand in line behind several people while the only two counters that were open dealth with uncooperative people. One chatted away on his cellphone and the other chose to fill out a survey right there after being ask to do it elsewhere. Neither would budge until they completed their tasks, and neither of those tasks had anything to do with being at the check-in counter. GRR! I finally made it up to the counter 20 minutes after I was supposed to check in. She calls back to see if they would still see me then tells me they would because she told them I had been waiting in lin for 5 minutes... I told her how long I had been in line, and she was like, "Oh."

Once I finally got into the exam room, I was asked if a graduate MD could come in for my initial evaluation, and I said okay. I've done this before, it takes only a few minutes, then you see your primary physician. That did not end up being the case. I got stuck with this woman the entire time, and we had argument after argument about my symptoms and what was causing them. She would insist it was this or that. Then moving on to the next thing, well everything is caused by that instead. Blah, blah, blah... She was convinced that all of my eye pain, headaches, ear pain, neck pain, back pain, etc. was due to muscle spasms. Then, she was convinced it was chronic sinus infection and that I probably had fluid in my ears. I told her my ears always look textbook perfect according to all of the other doctors who have checked. She didn't believe me, again acting like I was nuts, but when she looked and saw I was right, all I got was "Oh."

Then, she jumped tracks back to my thyroid. I told her I just had my levels checked the week before with the ND, and they were still high. I also told her that he felt I was no longer converting T4 into T3 and I should add in Cytomel along with my Synthroid. Cytomel is active T3. She had no idea what I meant! I also told her that the pharmacy wasn't going to cover my script for the T3 because it came from a physician outside of KP so instead of $10, it would cost me $100, unless my PCP would sign off on it. I was told "no". I was informed that they would not consider results from another doctor or another lab, only their own so I needed to have them done again there. I told her I would, but that I was leaving that day for 2 weeks, and wanted to try the Cytomel... that I was going to fill the script either way. She then got aggitated and told me she thought I needed to make a choice on seeing one doctor or the other, not both, then basically made me feel like she wanted to show me the door. But,.. I wasn't budging.

I told her about all of the neurological symptoms I've been having. The brain pressure, the electrical pulses, shocks, stabbing, tingling/numbness, hot spots, mis-speaking/spelling inversions, etc., and that I wanted a referral to a neurologist for an MRI. She told me that my thyroid & sinuses could cause ALL of those symptoms, and that the neurologist would not see me until we get those things all sorted out. I told her these things were happening even when my thyroid was within "normal limits" and I was on anti-allergens, and they are getting progressively worse, I've never had an MRI ever and want a baseline done at the very least. I wanted to slap this woman!

She also said that they would not consider referring me to a neurologist unless my symptoms became so debilitating that I was having trouble getting around & getting out of bed. My jaw hit the floor & I just looked at her, and then pointed to the chair in the corner. I asked her, "Haven't you been listening to me? Did you not see me hobble in here using that cane?? Did you not hear me say that I have been steadily declining especially in the last 2 months, and have been near bed ridden for the past month? How about the fact that I had to use a mobility scooter just to take my kids trick-or-treating, and am having to take it on this vacation just so I can go? How about that I now qualify for a handicap parking placard?? You don't think any of these things warrant being further evaluated??" I couldn't believe she was going to deny me the referral. She went out and consulted with my PCP, then came back, and indicated my PCP was concerned and would consider the referral. I was getting such a headache by this point!

This graduate MD still insisted my eyes are just a result of these other things, too, and don't need to waste time looking into other considerations, despite my telling her that I am also at high risk for Glaucoma due to the Grave's Disease, and that my pressure has been testing high so I according the the KP eye doc I am required to be closely monitored. I didn't bother telling her I already set up an appt. with my optomitrist, and certainly wasn't going to bring up the Lyme again yet, although they did bring up my titer was still in my lab orders,,, Funny, the nurse was also a lot nicer about it after I complained about her behavior to Member Services).

So anyway, she was fed up with me and was ready to leave, and I asked about my pain meds. She went and asked my PCP, who apparently is chapped with me (because she wouldn't come see me herself) for questioning them about everything (Um, what's that quote I'm so fond of? "Unanswered questions aren't nearly as dangerous as unquestioned answers", and I firmly believe that, too). She comes back and I tells me they already approved it the day before. I had to then remind her that, no, they only gave me a quantity of 10 which would only last a few days, not 2 weeks, and I was told if I came in, I would get a month's supply. I only ask for them if I'm going on a trip, and for the length of time I will be on the trip. So, my PCP finally comes and gives another script for another 20 Oxycodone. She says fill them both, despite my objection to TWO separate copays for ONE month's Rx. It was a losing battle. They still refused to sign off for my Cytomel.

Next, I went to the lab where I quickly found out that the orders were all wrong, and the technician had to try to get it straightened out with my PCP first. She refused to come out to speak with him personally, and made us wait a half hour for her call. After that, I still had to go to the pharmacy, and they flipped out over me getting hit with two copays for one month's script... no one could figure out what the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks my darn PCP was thinking with all the screw-ups. I already had a number of other scripts I had filled along with those, plus some the previous day as well. The pharmacy turned out to be another long story in and of itself so let's just say it got straightened out and I got my meds.... this is already a mile long and we haven't even gotten to the part where we actually left on the vacation yet!

By the time I left KP, I was still supposed to run the ND and get my order for the parking placard to take to DMV, but... there wasn't time. I had just enough time left to go fill my Cytomel at the other pharmacy, and get the dogs down to the boarding kennel before they closed for the day. I was exhausted & in so much pain I was fighting tears. I finally got back to the house and we set to loading up the Tahoe with the scooter & all of our luggage, and we hit the road.... just after 6:00 PM. Only 4 hours beyond our goal. *sigh*

We stopped to grab a latte at Starbucks, and then, heading down the highway while caught up in the whole convo of my crisis at the stinking doctor's office, Scott missed our turn for the freeway. Finding a spot to turn around, well, my coffee sprouted wings and flew from it's cradle across my lap, down my leg, and onto the floor, splashing everything within about a 2 foot diameter. Oh yes, this vacation was off to a GRAND start!

In all haste, I also had forgotten to take my pain pill that I had to fight to get, and the whole reason we were late in the first place.... Oh, but it gets better. A few hours later, we stopped at a rest stop specifically so I could get my pain pills, and low and behold..... they weren't there! Yuppers, it's the ONE single, solitary bag that didn't make it into the truck! It was still sitting at home! We had to decide whether to lose time & money driving all the way back home, or continue on and try to figure something else out. We decided to continue on, and see about having Scott's dad go to the house and then overnight them to us at the first hotel. Of course, we were forgetting that the following day was Thanksgiving and therefore it was a 4-day holiday weekend with no shipping available. This trip was looking better & better with every passing moment,.... and in case it isn't clear enough, that comment is LOADED with sarcasm. *sigh*

Around 3:30 AM, about 30 minutes outside of Vallejo (Our initial destination, but not the primary), we were getting very sleepy. And then, we saw emergency lights up ahead that spread across the interstate. No doubt, someone had fallen asleep at the wheel. The only thying left was the lower framework of their car. The rest had completely sheared away in it's tumbling. Bodies lay covered with blankets on the ground, and I....... lost my composure completely. All I could do was cry & pray for them. (I remember on our trip a couple of years ago when we took Amtrak, a man decided to commit suicide by laying across the railroad tracks,.. and it happened to be the train we were on that killed him. I remember feeling a *bump*, but we didn't learn what it had been from until a couple of weeks later...) We finally got to our hotel just after 4:00 AM, and by 5:00 AM we were unloaded, settled into our room, and nestled in the beds falling near instantly unconscious.

Thanksgiving morning, we had to set in on figuring out what in the world we were going to do without my meds, how to get them, and so forth. Scott's dad drove to our house, but couldn't get in. He didn't have the right key. Scott was sure he had given it to him, along with others for 'just in case', but he tried them all, and none worked. I was beginning to go into a state of panic..... I just spent the week prior plus 3 hours and $200 the day before making sure I had all of them. Some of my meds, if I don't take them then within a few days my body literally begins shutting down on me, and I did not want to end up in an ER while on vacation. We were supposed to be going to dinner with family in Fairfield, but ended up canceling in order to figure out what to do. I was in tears so we arranged to go visit later that evening instead.

It was shortly after that, I calmed down and I rememered that my new LLMD (ND) had given me his cell phone number so I could reach him with any concerns while I was away. I hated to call him on Thanksgiving, and honestly didn't think he would answer. I was ready to get his voicemail and leave him a message to please call me back, but he answered immediately! He was wonderful... He called me in 2 weeks worth of my absolute essentials to the local Walgreens to get me through the trip until I could get back home. He couldn't do the Oxycodone, obviously, so he gave me a script for 10mg of Vicodin every 6 hours. Vicodin normally has never worked well for me, but now I think it was the dosing... it was always 5mg so this was twice that, and it worked very well for me! It actually worked better because it was strong enough, plus it's slow releasing so I kept feeling like I got these 'bubbles' of relief every little bit. After getting the scripts filled (PRAISE THE LORD FOR THAT!!), we went and ate, then back to the room for a much needed nap before heading over to visit family that evening. The visit was WONDERFUL.

The next day, was Scott's mom's birthday so we thought of her all the more. She would have turned 60 years old. Our trip held sentimental value because she had said shortly before she died a year ago that she wanted us to experience Disney at Christmas. We've gone before, but never at Christmas. So, we had decided to do it this year, in her honor. That's why we chose to leave around her birthday & come back the day she passed. It helped ease the pain of that week, and gave us a happier distraction. One she wanted us to have.

We headed over to Six Flags Discovery Kingdom to spend the day, but found that the holiday hours are from 4PM-10PM. Nowhere had it said this, in fact when we inquired previously, we had been told normal hours opening at 10AM. So, what to do all day now?? We went shopping, and hung out. Northern California is COLD in December... especially in the evening. We ended up only staying for a few hours. Got pics with Frosty, and other winter characters throughout the park, watched the cute sea lion Christmas Caper show, and played some Midway games. Daddy won Ashley a giant cheetah so she was tickled pink.

In one area the crowds got pretty heavy, but were moving along in each direction. It just required a little patience that unfortunately some people do not seem to posess,.... that and common sense. One family decided to push past people, heading the opposite direction that we were. I was on the scooter, of course, and so I suppose I was an easy target for pushing past because the dad & son both did this with no conscience about bumping into me as they crammed by. I stopped the scooter due to this, and worried I might run over the son's foot from him not paying attention, but then once I started to go again, the mom decided to shove past, too. She squeezed past the people in front of her and shoved her way in between, placing her foot right in front of my back tire. And you guessed it, I ran over her foot! This was not my fault in any sense of the word, SHE put her foot there by trying to push past other people.... yet she had the nerve to turn around and yell at me for running over her foot!! Honestly, I had no desire for confrontation with anyone so I just played the 'selective hearing' card and kept right on going. Hmm, does that count as a hit 'n run?? LOL Scott, on the other hand, turned around and informed the woman that she was the idot for placing her foot in front of a moving tire, and perhaps she was the one with the handicap! Okay, so it wasn't quite like that, it was more of a "What do you expect, ya numbskull??" *sigh* Will the fun vacation please step forward??

The following day, we met with collegues for business in the area, and then that evening we went to the Jelly Belly Factory for their Christmas celebration & tree lighting event.... FUN!! What a neat experience that was. They handed out free hot chocolate, cider & cookies, we sang Christmas Carols, and heard from the Mayor of Fairfield, the President of Jelly Belly & Sant Claus. Then, they lit up the tree! *Oooh-Aaah* They had a parade, a band, a bubble magician that did the most amazing things with bubbles..... and we went on the tour of the factory. We had such a wonderful time.

We, of course got our various "Jelly Belly" souveniers & candies, and pictures, etc., and then on the way out, we checked out their 'case sale', and picked up a couple of boxes of their chocolate/orange sticks. It wasn't until the following evening when had traveled on down to Anaheim, that Scott opened the boxes to check them out anf finding that one was fine but the other........ not only was it not what it said was in the box (turned out to be almonds), but it was also covered in not just fuzzy but FURRY green mold!! *ACK*

The drive from Vallejo to Anaheim should've only taken 7-8 hours, but due to fog, it took us about THIRTEEN hours. It was so thick you couldn't see the next car in front of you and CHP was providing group escorts up & down I-5.... I have never seen such a thing. Then, one of the stops we took to refill on gas and use the restrooms, we promptly pulled right back out of because it seemed everyone else had decided to do the very same thing. There were lines & lines of vehicles for gas, and there were THREE tour buses with tourists from Japan all in line for the bathrooms. Both men & womens bathrooms had lines with I'd guess about 50 or so in line for the women's, and about 30 in line for the men's, and still other restrooms had long lines forming there as well, and we were not about to stand in line waiting for the bathroom for an hour! We hopped back in the truck and continued south.... next rest area was closed... finally hit a stop, and took it. This one still had waiting lines, but not nearly as tragic, LOL..... but we still waited about 15-20 minutes for the bathroom. When in the world was our luck going to change?? All we could do was keep hoping & praying for improvement, and thinking, "What a story we have to tell when we get back!".

We spent the next few hours in bumper to bumper traffic. At one point, it took us about 45 minutes to crawl a mere 9 miles!! The drive was almost double the time it should have taken, and so we were completely exhausted. We stayed where we've stayed a couple of times before, and it was previously good. This time, the room was small & crowded (their version of a handi-cap room is to use up the space in the room by making only the bathroom large & open), the floor was yucky, the water tasted like chlorine, and the mattresses were hard like boards. There were no extra blankets or pillows, we had to ask for everything.... it was disappointing, BUT we were determined to have a good time despite everything seemingly falling against us. I honestly kept waiting for some major disaster to happen because it just seemed like we were not supposed to be there, LOL...

The next 5 days were spent as Disneyland & the Disney California Adventure theme parks, we had great fun! It wasn't crowded by any means so we got to enjoy all of our favorite rides over & over again. The scooter was a huge blessing. I could not have made this trip this time without it. On most rides, we had to go in through the exits, which is the wheelchair accessible side, and so one perk to my bruised pride in having to use the thing, it did skip some of the longer lines for us, although there weren't many that got too very long anyway. The girls got brave and tried many of the rides that they have previously vowed they would never do, LOL,.... and now are their favorites! Ashley started out being afraid of Space Mountain, but ended up wanting to go on it repeatedly. Same with Grizzly Bear Rapids,.. she always hated the two, big, waterfall drops, but now she loves it, and was even keeping both arms up in the air for them! She wanted to go on the Mali-Boomer, but is a couple hairs too short........ we were stunned she wanted to do it. She opted out on the Tower or Terror & Screamin California, but Courtney loved both. Brittney loved Screamin California, too. It was so great to be able to go on almost all the rides all together as a family instead of having to split up like we have previously to take turns because not everybody would go. We had to do that with a couple of rides, but that was it so it was wonderful! The kids got lots of autographs & pictures from/with many Disney/Pixar characters. We lucked out with the new Pixie Hollow, too. The wait line averaged 45 minutes to 2 1/2 hours, but the morning that we went, it was the first place we headed for when they opened so we ended up with only about 20 minute wait. To our disappointment, the Alladin show was out of service until the 12th, and the Electrical Parade, too, until the 19th.... Oh well,.. next time! We watched the Play Parade & the Christmas Parade. The castle's snowy transformation was really cool, but I will say that all those sites that tell you there is real snowfall from certain points along mainstreet arenot true..... it's bubblesoap. Still, VERY PRETTY & magical, just not "real" snow as advertised on some sites. Just an FYI. ;)

We actually had to grab our spot for the parade TWO HOURS beforehand, and it was all I could do to try to save it while Scott took the girls to go ride more rides (I didn't want them to lose time just sitting the whole time). It filled up fast & was packed elbow to elbow within a half hour so I was glad we got our spots when we did, but it was so cold after dark. After the parade, we decided to skip the fireworks... we'll catch those again on another trip,.... in warmer weather, LOL! The scooter did well. It lasted all day long,.... there were 2-3 nights that I had to get pushed back to the hotel because it died on the way, LOL,..... but there you go, MORE MEMORIES, heehee! You have to just take the good with the bad,......... despite all the negative things that happened ( & I didn't even go into them ALL.... this post is this long & it's just touching on all the key stuff.......!!! ), we still had a PHENOMINAL trip.

Others weren't as fortunate. On the way home, at one of the rest stops, we met an older couple who were from Washington, and had made it as far as Eureka, CA. They stopped to get a room for the night & went to have a look at the room before deciding on staying there. When they went back to their minivan, they discovered the whole back side window had been busted out and all of their belongings had been stolen,... their clothes, their camera, video camera, and they had left her purse & his wallet in the car, too, so those were gone,of course, as well. I don't remember if they had cellphones or not. They were on their way to Disneyland. They had decided to go for her birthday and Christmas... she just turned 60 and had never left the state of Washington, and now they were on their way back home, devestated. It broke our hearts.
We got home Saturday evening about 4:00 PM, and set in getting everything unloaded & put away. Scott had to head on to the shop that evening to square things away for the conference he has this week. He had to head out Sunday morning, and will be gone until the end of the week. Saturday was the day Carol passed away a year ago. It was also my late grandmother's birthday, and my sister's wedding anniversary.

Sunday evening I picked up the dogs from the kennel, and after getting back home, found that Tucker (our older male who has cancer) wasn't doing well. He wouldn't eat, was lethargic & kept wheezing. I looked him over and found that his mast cell tumor has begun to grow back. His other tumors were checked and their smears looked fine, but this one had been malignant so it was surgically removed 4 months ago. No one expected it to grow back this fast. He has a few other smaller growths I found as well as skin tags that have suddenly grown a lot bigger. I resolved to take him to the vet the next morning after I got back from taking Ashley to her Ophthalmology appointment. I knew that if the cancer spread, the wheezing & coughing could be due to tumors in his lungs or a sign of heart failure. At the same token, I also knew it could be Kennel Cough from being boarded, and even though both dogs have been vaccinated just a few months ago against it, they can still catch it.

This brings us up to yesterday. Ashley had her Ophthalmology appointment, and it took 2 hours. I knew it would take a little longer because they had to dilate her eyes for the slit lamp, but TWO hours?? My goodness... Honestly, I think they forgot about us because we sat thereor so long Ashley actually started to fall asleep in the chair, there was no one around, the other exam rooms were empty, and then on my third attempt to wander out front to find somebody, I found the nurse at her computer. She seemed surprised, then said something about them having a lot of eye emergencies........ where?? Anyway, the exam went well, Ashley's eyes looked good, the tumors looked fine (from that standpoint so far), and her retinas were textbook perfect (like my ears, hahaha). She may be developing a slight stigmatism, but they don't think she needs correction at this point, and they don't think it's related to the tumors. It was suggested she just have a standard eye exam for a follow-up in the Spring. She also determined this while Ashley's eyes were dilated, and when I brought this up, she admitted it wasn't reliable (your vision is skewed, blurry & often doubled). I am so sick of KP doctors. *rolls eyes*

After dropping Ashley off at home, I picked up Tucker and took him to the vet. He was so cold, his muscles started contracting & contorting so that I almost thought he was having baby seizures... poor old guy. Well, they asperated one of the cysts, and the smear looked fine. His bloodwork all came back good, no fever, and his lungs sounded fine. So, for now, they sent us home with antibiotics & pain meds for Kennel Cough. If he's not showing signs of improvement by Friday, I am supposed to take him back in for chest x-rays to make sure he doesn't have tumors spreading in his lungs. Two hours and another $150 later, we came home. Oh, and I was warned that the new safety regulations now require all personel out of the room for diagnostics imaging so now they have to sedate. His surgey ran us $700.00 *gulp*..... this old fart is draining us! But,... we love him.

I still had erronds to run, and since most of our stuff is still in storage with trying to get moved,.. I grabbed a small tree & a few decorations for it. So we put that up when I got home.
Surprisingly, I have been doing pretty well. Sunday, being back at home and having access to all my meds again, including the new ones (and yes, there was the bag sitting right where it had been left *sigh*)..... My labs showed I was deficient in almost every hormone & vitamin/mineral. My LLMD ND is starting me off slowly adding in new supplements. I had an adrenal he called in for me while I was away... and I noted some improvements just from that alone, but I still couldn't get around on my own well at all while on the vacation. Sunday however, was my first day to finally get to start trying the Cytomel in conjunction with the Synthroid. I rested most of the day, but in the afternoon I was moving around with a lot more ease. And then yesterday, with all the running I had to do, I was exhausted, but more like anyone else would be after all that...... and I didn't have to use my cane at all. I walked at a normal pace, not slow or slumped, and didn't have trouble getting in & out of the car. I was tired & sore last night, and I did take a Vicodin, but I wasn't too bad. I was noteably impressed with how well I was feeling because quite honestly, I anticipated coming home from vacation and ending up in bed for a week trying to recoupe like I have in the past! Instead, I've been waking up earlier, ready to get up and able to stay up..... that is saying something!

I had mesages from my KP doc saying my TSH hasn't changed & is still high. Hmmm,... didn't I tr to tell them this when I was there? But they made me do the labs again anyway, just to find out the same result. They refused to add in the Cytomel, which so far, seems to be doing wonders for me. Still no mention of doing this, she just sent me a letter saying she upped my Synthroid dose and to pick it up at the pharmacy, then come back for labs again in 6 weeks. I don't know yet what she increased it to. I have an appointment with my LLMD ND next Monday to go over all my lab results, and what all supplemental protocol we're going to do, plus I'll get my Igenex results, and start abx treatment for the Lyme. BTW, I also got the ELISA titer results back, and they were of course 'negative', but then we knew they would be. KP is known for this, and they even told me they were sending my blood to Virginia! Well, I already have info on what their practices are so,.. there you go.

Tomorrow, I'm taking Bailey in to finally get spayed, Friday, I have an optometry appt. & Ashley has a peds appt. Her ophthalmologist said I need to make an appt to see her also. I told her I tried and was told to go see my optomitrist first. She told me I don't need a referral for her, and I need to see both of them so I will be scheduling with her shortly. Monday I see my LLMD ND again, Tuesday Brittney has a peds appt., then next Thursday I have a neurology appt (did I forget to mention that? Yeah, I came home to another message saying I had been referred, LOL, guess my persistance paid off) and Ashley has her peds oncology appt, although that will probably have to be rescheduled because she needs her MRI done first, and we're still in the progress of getting that scheduled. KP sent the order to the wrong hospital (figures) so they're straightening it out. I called again today, but it's still getting changed. Let's see, then Courtney has her peds appt on the 23rd. I still have to get the chiropractor worked into the schedule yet, too.

Scott was on the news today & is being broadcast for a LIVE segment in the morning for the T3 Motion at 6:30 AM so if you're in Bend, OR, and get Ch 9 (KOHD), watch him! He's at the big police convention over there this week. I am hoping he'll be able to get a copy so we can see it.

What else,..... Oh, here's a newsflash: The girls & I are no longer vegetarians. Yes, you heard me right. This has been weighing on me for awhile now from a "faith" perspective, and after reading the book, "Eatin' After Eden" by Dr. Zook, and a lot of Bible Study on the subject we have determined that we fell into the trap that 1 Timothy 4:1-6 warns about. I am happy to talk about this with anyone who wants to know more about it. I highly recommend this book for all vegetarians, vegans, and non-vegetarians/vegans as well as Christians & non-Christians. There is a wealth of information that Dr. Zook has worked diligently to compile together for the reader. This was not my sole reason for returning to flesh-foods, but it did solidify the decision, and for my children as well. And, I have to admit, that the switch feels right both physically & emotionally. And, we are already feeling a difference........ no wonder I am so deficient in so many ways. And, soy, I have learned actually blocks the proper absorption of MOST nutrients! Almost everything I have put into my mouth the past 3 years has been soy.... I have been eating flesh-foods for a week now, and have noted significant difference in my mental clarity. Remember that "unedited" post I left a few weeks ago?? Well, you see how long this post is, and it too, is UNEDITED. I know it is not perfect, and that is not my aim, but look at this compared to the other...... I'm not seeing all the inversions and such that I was having before!

I'm going to close this now........ I know, you're probably thinking "It's about time!",.. that is, if you've made it this far, LOL,..... but honestly a LOT has happened in the last 2 weeks, and I wasn't around to post on it in increments. If you've read through this in it's entirety, you're awesome. If you haven't,... that's okay. It felt good for me to type it all out all the same. Kind of a "Whew! Set that load down!" kind of thing, LOL ;)

Despite everything, we are happy,.... We are home safe & sound, and we had a wonderful trip.

God Bless!!!!!!! XOXOXO

Labs Are Off to Igenex As We Speak!

2008-11-18T17:50:00.000-08:00

I saw my LLMD again this morning, and he spent two hours with me Friday. We have gone through almost every aspect of my medical history, and other applicable data from my life... He's taking it ALL into consideration. He's going to be treating my whole body, and I really do believe that is key here. That's my opinion, and so I am thrilled to be in such capable hands.

Because of the comprehensive testing we did, and the subsequent conversations regarding the findings, and other concerns that were addressed,.. he had spent another two hours with me. Wow, that's some excellent doctor/patient attention going on there!

The comprehensive testing was really interesting, and he feels it is unlikely I have co-infections or the heavy metal toxicity as we feared last week. I did respond strongly to having Borrelia though.

Anyhoo,... we drew lots and lots of blood for all sorts of labs, we discussed several hormonal deficiencies, etc., and we talked about what treatment to start with for the Lyme.
I'm going to be starting several supplements over the weekend for my overall well being. Like I said, we suspect I am deficient is several areas, and so he's hoping to know by Friday so I start taking those right away and hopefully give me a head start on a "boost" before I leave for our holiday vaca next week.

I was going to start treatment today, but (and don't yell at me for this anyone), I really do not want to risk the possibility of any nasty herxing while on this vaca. I am systemic and have CNS involvement so I will likely not be feeling well. I honestly figure that if I've gone this long, 2 more weeks probably won't be the end of the world, JMO.

As soon as we get back, I will start on a combination of both Doxy and Samento. Don't know the dosages yet, but I do know we will keep treating until I feel better, and beyond, and then once we do take me off, we will watch in case I need to go back on. I will also be on various supplements, but don't have the list to tell you which ones yet. Oh, and a comprehensive probiotic, too. Plus, he wants me on an organic yogurt in addition to the probiotic.

Umm, labs for every possible organ, hormone, etc., and did the kit for Igenex and it got mailed off this afternoon, overnighted so they'll have it tomorrow.

Should have the results back when I return from the vaca!

Anyhoo,... think that's about it. Other bits & pieces, but overall, another very good appointment!
Think I'm going to kick back & watch a video shortly... Have a good evening everybody!

(((HUGS)))

What's BUGGING Me!

2008-11-14T23:37:00.000-08:00

Well, as many of you know I finally had an appointment with an LLMD (ND), and that was this afternoon.

He is wonderful, and spent TWO HOURS with me today!! And,.. his office is only 9 minutes from my house! You gotta love that!

We went over my entire history, all 34 years of it... covered a lot of ground in those two hours!

So, I'm not going to keep you all waiting on what he said... He says Lyme (we knew it was, right?). What I didn't expect is that he highly suspects that I very well may have been infected with Lyme fo the past 20-25 years, and that may be where so many of my other medical issues have arisen from over all of these years. He thinks I have co-infections going on (we figured that, too). He does not think that the EM rash I had three years ago was the initial onset of the Lyme though. He thinks it was a reinfection to what I already had, and that at this point it is systemic Lyme. It is believd I have Lyme Arthritis, Neurological Lyme & Lyme Meningitis, and we obviously don't know yet how many co-infections.

He also thinks I am deficient in a number of areas. He couldn't even find my thyroid so we did an iodine test on my arm, and it is already almost completely gone. I can barely tell where it was now. He suspects several hormonal imbalances and also wants to test me for heavy metals toxicity. There's other things, too, but we are going to go into more of that when I see him again on Tuesday morning for further exams and to do various labs. After that, we'll work on a treatment plan.

Being an ND, he believes in treating the whole body, which is what I also believe. He also knows a LOT about Lyme, and many other things.... things other doctors have never taken the time to consider with me or listen to me... he is caring & compassionate, and I really feel like I am in good hands!

Today was overwhelming, and I learned a lot more about what is, and may be, going on with me than I anticipated, but what a relief it also was after my ordeal with my PCP's office & insurance and acting like I was nuts!

And so, I am finally taking steps toward a hopeful & eventual recovery.......... FINALLY!! And I feel SO validated... that feeling is so amazing!

(((HUGS)))

Tahnee

Hinesights 20/20

2008-11-06T21:01:00.000-08:00

I decided to go back through old posts on my blogspot, and I came across a few from back in the beginning of 2007 where they had been running various tests to try to figure out what was wrong with me, prior to slapping me with severe FMS diagnosis... Of course, even in the absense of my remembering the bull's eye rash I had had a year and a half prior, they should have checked me for LD. This just keeps frustrating me.

Just thought I'd share.... I warn you though, it will be long. But, after getting to know me over the last 2-3 weeks, you're probably not surprised, LOL

This exerpt is from a post I made on 1/14/2007:

[quote]....Last night, the pain had intensified so bad that I didn't even have to move for the pain to literally take my breath away. I was having muscle spasms like you wouldn't believe,... if I coughed it felt like I was going to puncture a lung. The spasms grew so great that it felt as though I had weights on me, keeping my lungs from expanding... It hurt to breathe. It grew to a point where I was crying out quite a bit, and after awhile,.. just plain crying....quote]

Here's an exerpt from a post I made on 4/10/2007:

[quote]....This has gone on long enough, and it's clearly 'something' and so (before anyone starts yelling at me about it, lol) I DID go see my physician!

I've gotten much, much worse,... It hurts to move,.. EVERYthing hurts. All my bones, every joint, every muscle,.. my hands, fingers, wrists, elbows, arms, shoulders, neck, back, hips, knees, legs, ankles, feet, heels, and toes,.... I am exhausted beyond belief, and even with adequate sleep (7-9 hrs) I am still feeling wiped out and in need of (almost) daily naps,.. and STILL feel tired. My eyes are heavy & fuzzy, it's difficult to concentrate because I feel so awful. I don't even have to be moving to be in pain. Sometimes, it's tolerable, others it's excruciating, and I have to fight from bawling,.. and still other times I can't hold in back no matter how hard I try. My skin burns sometimes, some of my muscle tissue burns, I feel bruised on all pressure points on my bones/joints,.. I have stabbing pain in places that don't make sense, and in my fingers, hands, elbows, shoulders, and knees, feet & toes. It comes on sudden, stays a bit, and then fades. It hurts to hold a pen to write, it hurts to hold a phone, hurts to hold the steering wheel to drive, hurts to walk, even stepping on or off a curb, let alone the stairs. It hurts to type right now...

I saw my Dr last night, and she said I definitely have some sort of rheumatoid thing going on,.. question is, WHAT. She ran me through all sorts of clinical tests, which I could do, but not without a great deal of difficulty so much so that she told me to stop trying because she could see it was only hurting me. She said it's definitely effecting my connective tissue, and she's concerned... And she doesn't think it's just my osteoarthritis anymore. I got labs done,... they're running a battery of tests which I fully anticipated. The tech took about 7-8 viles,.. said they were running 10 different tests. I know they're checking for rheumatoid factors, cancer tags, Lupus, and a bunch of other possibilities. I should have some results tomorrow, and she's referring me to a rheumatologist, which I'll probably see next week. In the meantime, she put me on Rx IB, vicodin, and muscle relaxers,.... OTC stuff didn't do ANYthing to help, and actually, the prescriptives didn't do anything for me last night either until I was finally so drowsy I didn't care anymore and basically passed out. I still woke through the night with pain any time I moved.

Anyway,.. *fingers crossed* for them to figure me out & help me,............... I seem to get worse day by day. This has been going on for [a couple] years, but has been getting closer together and worse each time. This is by far the worst I've been yet....[/quote]

Then I added this post on 4/12/2007, here's an exerpt:

[quote]....my labs are back, and everything is normal except my ANA was high, not as high as it could be, but high. This eliminates me from a number of possibilities, yet also opens the door to many others. For now, the big one that my doctor was considering being a plausable cause, was MS, which she has now ruled out, thank goodness. But,.. this still leaves an open door to the original concern of it possibly being Lupus. Now, it certainly may not be,.. about 95% of people who test with a positive ANA do not get diagnosed with Lupus, but the concern here is that I do meet several criteria. Basically though, I still have a great big question mark plastered on me,.... I should be hearing from the Rheumatologist next week and seeing him shortly after. There will likely be many more tests,.. more poking & prodding before anyone can come to any sort of conclusion.

In the meantime, my medication has been changed. The Vicodin was doing NOTHING for me, except add to my drowsiness. I was still in horrid pain even though I was taking 800 mg of IB, 1,000 mg of Robaxin (a muscle relaxer) AND 1,000 mg of Vicodin.

I'm still on the IB & the Robaxin, but they've switched me from Vicodin to Oxycodone. It's about as close to Morphene as you can get in pill form, LOL. Although, I don't care for how it makes me feel (like I'm highly intoxicated), [but] it IS doing a fabulous job in numbing my pain so I am greatful....[/quote]

They slapped me with Fibromyalgia at that point, and never pursued anything else any further...... I never questioned it.

Why the abrupt hault, and then "here's your new 'label'"???

My ANAs were high and I obviously had a lot of neuropathy going on. Neuropathy and muskuloskeletal are two completely different things,.. I had BOTH. I was having cognitive difficulties even then, not near what I have now, but looking in other notes I have from then, I had a lot of red flags going up. I was also having the ear pain & hypersensitivity then that they could never explain. Why didn't they pursue things further??

Hinesight,... I tell ya, it'll bite you in the cheeks every time!!

I will NOT be a victim.

2008-11-06T19:25:00.000-08:00

So, I've decided to start keeping track of what's going on with me, symptom-wise (as I'm sure you've noticed lately), periodically because I just plain forget later, and it's alwayschanging! I am determined to be my own best advocate now more than ever. I WILL BE HEARD.

I've had to use my cane a lot. My left knee kept getting that stabing, hot poker pain on & off, and then I begand getting what felt like shorter shin splints in the 2" right below my right knee, and so much so that I could not bare any weight on that leg, even in just standing still. I seem to be doing better with both knees yesterday & today though although they still hurt.

My eyes are killing me. The pain just keeps increasing. My orbs HURT. It especially hurts to move my eyes so I find myself turning my head instead so that I do not have to move my eyes,.. There is a constant aching pressure, and I am squinting a LOT. Light bothers me. I have turned my PC screen waaaay down to a suttle grey. The tiny font in most books? Forget that, I have to focus too hard now. Thank goodness, our textbooks are a larger font that I can still manage to do school with my kids! I am constantly rubbing my eyes... if I gently hold my hands over my eyes or gently rub it seems to relieve the pressure for a few seconds,.. but of course then I see spots afterward,... sort of like after a camera flashes. You can see, but there are these floating, dark, but transparent 'spots'. My eyes are my BIGGEST COMPLAINT today. They hurt SO bad.

I still have a dull headache. This has been constant for weeks, if not probably months now. It's the dull kind that is tolerable pain for the most part. I'm almost getting used to it being the norm now because it's always there. It gets stronger at times & sometimes I take something for it, but nothing ever really seems to help so I tend to not bother most of the time.

The pain & hypersensitivity in my left ear is continuing to increase again. I have not missed this, and am not looking forward to it causing me more grief. It has not built back up to the magnitude that it had a year and a half ago, and I truly pray it does not do so again, but it feels lke it may very well be headed back in that direction.

My hips keep locking up on me, or at least it feels that way. I can only be on my feet for about 10 minutes before I start getting sharp pains in them {my hips},.. like sciatic pain, plus a bone on bone feeling whenever I take a step. It has sent me into tears. Going to the grocery store and being on my feet for 30-45 minutes walking slowly..... I hurt so bad, and by the time I am ready to get into the car, I can barely move. I cannot lift my legs to get them into the car..... I literally have to lift them one at a time with my hands. Then, it's a struggle to get back out of the car once I get home. I have to immediately go lay down, and rely on the kids to unload the groceries. Thank goodness they've always enjoyed helping with that prior to me going so down hill again.

I have been getting shooting pains down my legs and "hot spots" in my legs, hips, fanny, back and arms. When I say "hot spots" I mean I suddenly get a very, very warm sensation in an isolated place, like a single nerve, or cluster of nerves.

The rib pain is still there, on both sides, just a few inches below my underarms, and I've been having muskuloskeletal pain on the left side of my sternum. I hate that feeling.

The fronts of my ankles, the very front and going up about 2-3" from the tops of my feet, is VERY tender. It hurts if anything touches them other than the covers, or my socks. My shoes hurt my ankles. They fit, my feet & ankles just hurt, and wearing shoes makes it worse. They are not visibly swollen,.. they just HURT. I don't put my shoes on unless I have to leave the house and I take them off as soon as I get back. My feet & ankles hurt enough barefoot. I have been very tempted to just wear my flip flops some more except that with the change in weather and as bad I get if I get cold, I can't afford to make things worse.

Still having the insomnia issue,... not being able to fall asleep until between midnight & 2:00 AM, but actually waking okay in the mornings. Not as early as I would like, but I'm not having to struggle & fight so that's a refreshing positive for a change.

I have calls in, and an email, to an LLMD clinic in Seattle. I am on the edge of my seat waiting for them to contact me back saying they can see me soon........ PLEASE! I have friends & family up there I can stay with,.. already have an offer from one, and I haven't seen her in WAY TOO LONG so I am SO READY to take her up on it!

I know treatment will be long. I know treatment will likely make me worse before I get better..... but I am getting worse anyway. I have got to get better! I want my life back......

I am just fighting right now to get it together enough for our family's Christmas trip to Disneyland in Dec......... I. WILL. GO. I don't care what I have to do,.. I'm going with them. I will NOT be the reason we cannot go. I will NOT take that from my children.

I will NOT be a victim.

RIP, Leslie

2008-11-06T11:04:00.000-08:00

Leslie Rae Wermers, 7/7/1967 - 11/2/2008

Exerpt from UnderOurSkin.com:

Leslie Wermers, 41, died from heart failure in her sleep on November 2nd. It’s hard to imagine Leslie’s heart giving out, because for anyone who knew her she was all heart. A dear friend to so many and a tireless worker on behalf of the Minnesota and national Lyme communities, Leslie gave everything she had to help others who were sick. And everything she had was an abundant reserve of love and support–even as her own health waned.

Please visit this page to read the entire story, and see video highlights with Leslie in her work.

http://underourskin.com/blog/?p=67

From me:

Leslie’s passing is heartbreaking…..

I am one who is still struggling to be heard. I will not give up… Leslie has left a powerful legacy behind. Her passing is wounding, but I am encouraged by her strength.

Leslie obviously made a difference. We should all be inspired to help continue her efforts. We need to pick up the baton, and keep moving forward in Leslie’s honor. In honor of all those who have lost the battle against this awful disease. In honor of all those who continue to be bound by it’s clutches. The voice of Lyme suffers must be heard, and Leslie’s passing must not be in vain.

My prayers are with the family also. (((hugs)))

Patches & Treats

2008-11-01T23:06:00.000-07:00

We got to enjoy two pumpkin patches this year... the first with our homeschool group down here in Marion County, and the second with our homeschool group up north in Washington County (where we'll be moving back to).

Oct 20th, we went to Bauman's with our S.H.I.N.E. homeschool group, where the kids got to play in hay mazes & whatnot, learned how to make fresh apple cider, got to sample it, pet farm animals, feed the pygmy goats, ride a ahy wagon out to the patch and retrieve a pumpkin, a gourd and pick an ear of indian corn off the stalk. Then we rode back and got to sample the farm's homemade apple cider donuts,... yumm!

It poured rain that morningm and so we thought we would have to cancel, but just as it was time to go, the skies cleared for us. And just long enough too, as no sooner did we get back from the patch, it began to pour again. The walking was hard for me, and I ended up in pain the rest of the day & the next, but we had fun.

Then, three days after that field trip, we went to Baggenstos Farms with our L.I.F.E. @ Home homeschool group, where the kids again got to play in hay mazes, climb hay rolls, and whatnot. We rode hay wagons out to the best pumpkin patch we've ever seen. The day was so beautiful, too. After pumpkins, we rode back to the main barns where we got to learn about potatoes, and the kids got to take home bags of red, yellow & purple potatoes.

We did their 5 acre corn maze, and it really didn't take as long as I was afraid it was going to. I was going to sit it out, but I didn't want to do that to my kids... I am determined to continue to participate in things! It did a number on me though, and I ended up in excruciating pain & bedridden for 5 days after. :(

They do a picture out of their corn maze every year, and then do an arial photograph of it. That's your 'map', and your only map... so you have to really pay attention. It was neat!

For trick-or-treating, Courtney dressed up as a veteranarian. Something she is thinking she may want to be when she grows up, and she is already planning to save her scrubs for when she starts volunteer work & internships at the humane society & local vet's office in a few years. Ashley dressed up as Lilo & Stitch... she wanted to be as authentic as possible, but I made her wear clothes underneath her grass skirt & coconut bra.... not warm enough in October here to be "nekkid" underneath, LOL! Brittney's costume cracked me up,... she decided to go as a 'Domestic Goddess'. It was a hoot!

I have still been doing so bad (pain & everything) that I didn't think I was going to be able to take them this year. Scott was going hunting for this last weekend, but he came home long enough to take the girls treating. And, he brought the scooter for me so I could go, too. I didn't want to have to use it, but I could not have handled going otherwise.

It ended up being a pleasant evening, and while the girls skipped from house to house around the neighborhood, my sweet hubby walked beside of me while I 'motored' along.

I think we need to get a new battery though because it didn't last as long as it used (when his mom used it a year ago). It did well enough, but ended up running out of juice & fizzled out on me about a block from home. I started to cross to the other side of the street and got to the middle where it just stopped, LOL. Poor Scott ended up having to push me the rest of the way back home!! It was so embarrassing, but yet it is really funny at the same time. He said, "It's okay, hun,... I still love you even though you're handi-crapped". Handi-crapped.......??? *rolls eyes* Poopy-head, LOL

I sure hope I can get in to the alternative clinics, and that these new treatments help me. I've got to be feeling better for DL in Dec! *ack*

Anyway,.... I've loaded new pics for those who want to see them.

(((hugs)))

Bauman Farms:

Baggenstos Farms:

And,... more of the costumes:

My Life in the "Lyme" Light (UNEDITED)

2008-11-01T16:21:00.000-07:00

I just have so much running through me head again today that I decided to compile it all together... I am just raelly strugglnig here and want my life back.

I have been in debilitating states of health off and on, more on than off, for the past 3 years. A year and a half ago, they tested me for Mono, Lupus, MS & RA (all came back negative) before dignosing me with they called "severe" Fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia seems to run in both sides of my family so I accepted it as such. However, I just cannot seem to get any better. I have always had something going on with me as long as I can remember. If you skim my profiule on MD Junct, you will see I've had something just about every year for at least the past 16+ years. I'm even missing a few things in that list, I'm sure,.. one being suspected of osteoarthritis since about 2000-2001 thereabouts as I had zero % cartlidge left in my left kneww and only 5% left in my right knee.

Anyway, despite all the health issues I've been through, none have ever had me in such the debilititaing states such as I have been for the past 3 years (apart from the Menorrhagia right before my hyst 7 1/2 years ago).

Each year, I seem to be getting worse now, especially in this past month, and that is why I had begun doing more extensive searches online in regards to the Fibro. Trying to find out if all my symptoms were really to be attributed to FMS or not because I have been feeling like this is so much more. I do not doubt that I have had fibro symptoms since highschool, but this just seems like SO MUCH MORE. That is when I started seeing things pop up pointing to Lyme, and that somewhere around 75% of FMS patients are really misdiagnsed Lyme. This caught my curiosity and so I looked further, then I became alarmed because I match so many of the symptoms,..... including suddenly remembering that I had a bull's eye rash right before all of this started.

I had not gone in to see a doctor then as my husband & I had just started our business a coupole of months prior and did not yet have health insurance. That came 6 months after the bite, and by then, I had forgotten about it. however, I recalled it after seeing the Lyme info here just a few weeks ago, and remembered that I had taken a digital photo of it and stored it in my old laptop. It took me half the day, but I finally found it, and I was also thankful to find that I had dated the photo in it;s filename: Aug 22nd 2005. Right before I started going downhill with all of my current problems.

I have proof of the EM rash, and I am very symptomatic of LD, yet my doctor refuses to see me. I had an appt., and they called and canceled me, telling me that unless it was for something other than Lyme, not to come in. I argued with them, and they said they would do a titer test, but that was it. They refused a westernblot and even more so, refused to gothrough igenex. This was only a few days ago, and I haven't gone in to the lab yet because I am so upset that they acted like I have brain damage and I was repeatedly told "there is no Lyme in Oregon". I thought if you had an EM rash, you were supposed to be treated with abx no questions asked?? From everything I have read so far (& that is a lot), I meet a solid criteria for clinical diagnosis yet my doctor will not see me for it.

I have found aLLMD naturopath who will see me (I have to wait until at least next week for after payday), and run labs through igenex. I haven't seen him yet, but based on my history (I just sent him key points - like I was going to post here although it appears I'm doing the long-winded thing again), and he said it strongly suggests Borrelia. he also said, we won't know for sure until all the tests are done.

These are the symptoms I have been experiencing the past three years since the bite,... some have mysteriously come & gone, some were for a short while then never recurred, and others have been continuous:

- EM Rash (bull's eye) (only last about 1-2 days if I can recall correclty)
- Picked a tiny black thing out of center... thought it was a scab at bite center, didn't examine it. It was not much bigger than the periods in these sentences.
- stiff, painful joints and muscles - freeze up on me
- cracking, crunching joints especially in neck and knees
- Burning bones sensations in arms, legs, hands, feet, and spine
- muscle & nerve twitching, not usually in face but have mostly other places, mostly my back & legs
- "crawly" sensations, maybe just blood flow in veins? feels creepy like bugs crawling on or under my skin sometimes.
- eye floaters, always had them, but they were pinprick-sized "dots", after bite had longer (maybe 1 cm so still small) wiggly ones,.. currently do not have them though.
- Pinched nerves easily in arms, hands & legs, go numb & tingling... have had constant half numb-half tingling in my left hand pinkie finger ever since bite. has never let up and continues even today
- headaches and sinus pressure without obvious reason
- Intense pressure in my head,.. feels like my brain will pop out of my skull at times
- Sharp pinging pains in my head, various locations, usually one place at a time
- Sharp eye pains, mostly strong pressure simialr to the brain pressure, feels like it's coming from the inside
- Unexplained fevers and chills,.. these are different feelings from when I know I am sick or having thyroid issues
- unexplained ear pain & hypersensitivity to sound (this lasted a year and a half then suddenyl stopped for a year and a half, and seems like it may be starting back up again. audotiry tests came back fine, no hearing loss even though at times I felt like I did, and others like i heard too well. told nothing was wrong so continued to suffer
- Sore throats, not so much sore but scratchy,.. comes and goes
- My hair continues to fall out even when my thyroid levels are fine (I am hypo - had grave's 8 years ago & RAI treatment). Thankfully, it seems to grow as fast or faster than it falls out so no balding.
- my glands in my throat are often mildly swollen, but mostly they are tender
- IBS: i go back and forth between constipation and diahrrea
- I seem to have all kinds of food sensitivities that i never had... i get nauseted and bloated, gassy, everything seems to make me not feel good after i eat
- only very periodic and rare, but i have had episodes of heart beating much too fast when i was just sitting, came on sudden, others it has seemed to skip beats. these episodes have been rare
- My ribs often hurt like they are bruised, especially high up within a few inches of my underarms
- I get horrific pain in my neck, shoulders, arms, hands, back, hips, knees, legs and feet
- My heels burn like they are fractured and can barely walk on them when they are like that. it's worse in the mornings, but can last all day sometimes
- i have been becoming increasingly off-balanced & lightheaded. I bump into things or catch myself. i have had episodes where i have felt I suddenly had no depth perecption and will fall past the last step or two on the stairs or off the curb, thankfully only scaring me more than injurying
- I have terrible brain fog. I often forget what i'm talking about mid senstence. I confuse things. I can forget something within moents of being told, not always but it has been hppening. I make mistakes. I've had to pull myself out of our business completely b/c of mistakes. I make spelling errors, typos and invert letters all the time. I used to be very proficient in elnglish. I usually go thorugh and try to edit to ctch what i can, but I still miss things. i can't seem to find all my mistakes even when checking over things a number of times. i am not editing this however just so you can get a feel for the all the numorous mistakes i have to go back and correct. this is not usualy for me. i feel dumb now I have to edit and re-edit all teh time now just for my writings to look half way decent or normal anymore. I lose a great deal of time going over and over my words trying to find all the errors and fixing them, and even then I am missing some. How this all looks has become the norm for me. Most people do not relaize becuase I work so hard and fight to correct it.
- I have severely alterterd and poor memory function, both long and short. I have been growing more and more concerned of this like I am going to end up with alzheimer's or dementia. it's scary to feel this way. I get confused and forget how to do things. I often feel like I am lsoing my mind or going crazy. I have VERY limited memories from my childhood, highscool and even from when my children were babies and toddlers................ it's like I wasn't even there for most of any of it anymore. Yet some things I can still recall great deal of. but it's like huge pockets of time are just gone!
- I can often know exacrtly what I want to say but cannot seem to get my words to correlate correctly with my brain.
- i often get an upset stomach or stomach pains after sex. I had never experienced anything like this before, and many things on my list of symptoms I never would have thought could be related until I saw them compiled together on lyme sypmtoms lists, but since they are i am now inclusing them
- My vison has been an issue. I have a stigmatism, but I've had basically the same Rx since I was 10 years old. I haven't gone back in b/c it seems as though this is related to my other issues and i'm hoping it will clear back up if i can get treated properly. things are fuzzy, blurry, my eyes hurt trying to read so I have really pulled back from trying much anymore other than helping my children with school or online stuff. thats' still quite a challenge.
- ear buzzing and ringing, apart from the pain and sensitivty complaints I also get a fuzzy noise, reminds me like, although much quieter, a bunch of crickets chirrping, sometimes it's a louder ringing tone, like if you struck a metal rod,.. that ringing, vibrating sort of sound
- I have been having breast pain, just in my left breast. Mammogram and ultrasound came back clear. I was told perhaps fibrostic cysts, but yet the scans were clear and I still feel pain & itching
- I have gained a lot of weight in the last two years, and I cannot figure out why, except the obvious lack of exercise, but still I am not an over-eter and I eat healthy mostof the time.
- I get night jolting frequewntly, some nights worse than others, some not at all, some just my legs, some my whole body
- I have sever insomnia sisues ever since the rash. I never had troubling sleeping in my life before that. I could usually fall asleep almost before my head would hit the pillow kind of thing. now, once I do finally fall asleep, I continue to wake consistantly through the night, then I have horrible time waking in the mornings and lose half my day just trying to get out bed. Some days I cannot even open my eyelids. Thankfully, that has not happened for quite awhile.
- I'm tired all the time, fatigued, moody, no energy
- depression is becoming an issue. i have not had to deal with any form of depression in 7 1/2 years since before my hysterectomy, none. but now i am feeling more and more alone in what's going on with me. I feel like a burden to my family now, and that I am letting them down. This is causing depression to set in although I try to fight it.
- I get stabbing pains in my neck, shoulders, back, legs, feet, but especially my knees lately. The pain is like a hot poker stabbing & twisting and has been enough that I have even screamed or cried during some episodes. I feel I have a fair threshhold for pain so to scream or cry tells me it is pretty intense pain. I usually try to hold it in, but more and more lately I find myself stopping and just leaning up against the wall trying to fight the pain, and tears will just start to roll down my face.
- most pain meds do not help enough. many don't even take the edge off. the only one that really seems to help is oxycodone and robaxin but I try to avoid them. I often feel drugs just make me non-functional, more so then what is already going on with me, although some relief from pain is necc at times.
- swollen joints... they don't tend to look puffy or red, but feel "full" a lot. I do deal with a lot of water retention altely though
- I have never been a big drinker, but on occasion I could always hold my own.... these days I have to be really careful because I feel quite tipsy after only one beer, or even half a glass of wine. It doesn't even really appeal to me anymore because I get nausetad from it and feel awful.
- bone pain.... they can ache so bad or burning sensations like the marrow itself is on fire. I get this the most in my arms and feet
- Feel like there is constant sinus pressure in the bridge of my nose and cheekbones/browbones and skull. Like I've been hit in the face with a shovel.
- my neck hurts so much. I have never experienced the kind of neck pain and stiffness I have been having, espcially this year. Some days my head feels so heavy on my neck that it is difficult to hold it up without holding my hand on the back of my neck to support it. I get "catches" in my neck at the base of my skull constantly.

I'm sure there are things I am forgetting, but as you can see, I am not well. Something is taking over me, and I really believe now that it is Lyme.

I live in Oregon, my doctor claims there is no Lyme in Oregon. The year I had the rash was 2005. It was August 2005 and that was the last year I had a large flourishing garden I spent nearly every day in. I tried to have one the folowing year., but I had to let it go becuse I have been declining so much. I was always an active person and a very hard worker. I handled most of the manual labor around the house, especially when it came to landscaping, moving furniture around, all sorts of heavy work, and I prided myself in it, as well as all the cooking & baking I used to do. Now, I can do NONE of it. My husband is away working most of the time so our yard & home look like crap most of the time. this stresses me out to no end. I have only managed to go on vacations with family this year by getting a lot of bedrest before and after and taking a hiugh amount of pain killers during, just so I can still be apart of making memories with my family. I don't want to become invisible.

I often use furniture to help me get around the house. I have a cane, although I avoid it's use in public. I am humialiated as I am only 34 years old and I have very stuborn pride. I had to use a mobile scooter just to be able to go trick-or-treating with my husband & kids this year.

Thankfully, we own one... my husband bought it for his mother to use on one of our last family trips together before she died of cancer because she wouldn't pay to rent one, and we knew she needed to use one. He figured at the rate I seemed to be declining, I may end up needing it myself later, and he was right. It has taken a year, but I have finally reached that point. I still avoid using anything most days, but I could not have gone with them without that assistance. I do have much better days where I can do more and enjoy life, but that was obviously one of my worse days.... and they seem to be incresing all the time.

What if my tests come back not Lyme,... this caanot just be Fibro!

There is NO Lyme in Oregon!!

2008-10-30T18:19:00.000-07:00

Got your attention, didn't I?

No, I'm not naive on this subject,.. my doctor is!! And I guess I was naive for thinking my doctor would respond better than this, but that is EXACTLY what they told me this morning.

They called to tell me not to bother coming in today because "There is NO Lyme in Oregon".
I told them, "I have all the symptoms of Lyme". She wanted to know if I "have been on the east coast recently?"... I told her "no, but that means nothing", she says, "Lyme doesn't exist in Oregon". I said, "Yes, it does, and I KNOW people here who have it". She asked me if they had been to the east coast. "no",.. "Then they don't really have Lyme".

I told her I have at least 80% of all the symptoms associated to Lyme INCLUDING that I had the EM rash, a bull's eye, a little over 3 years ago, right before I got so sick, and have been ever since. She wanted to know if I still have the rash!! "No, of course not, it's been three years."... Like, the rash STAYS on you the whole time!!

I told her that there is medical documentation showing Lyme is in fact in every state. I was told again, "Lyme is NOT in Oregon". I said, "ticks do not know boundaries, they cross state lines, they attach to birds, birds fly everywhere, the ticks fall off... deer are everywhere."... Again, "Lyme is NOT in Oregon."... ??!!

She told me if I really feel the need, then they will do the titer test. I said, "that's not a reliable test". She agreed, "no, it's not a reliable test". "then why do you use it?", I asked. "That's what we use, it's protocol.... EVERY doctor's office & lab in the country uses the titer first.", she says. I said, "well, I'll do the test, but I also want my labs ran through Igenex, which is a tick-borne diseases specialty lab, and "I WILL PAY FOR IT". She told me, "there is NO SUCH THING thing as a lab that specializes in Lyme Disease"...??!!

She said, if I want to do that I can, but they will not cover it. I said again, "I'll pay for it, I just need you to sign the form"........... they won't do it!

They said, after I get the titer results back, however I choose to proceed will be up to me, but they do not treat Lyme unless the titer comes back positive, and even then they feel whether negative or positive that the test is unreliable, and once again I was told, "Lyme is NOT in Oregon"....!!!!!

Well, poopoo on you, docs, I'm going to an LLMD!!

I know, it's a bad pun, but I am just so "ticked" right now, I could spit nails!! I know this doesn't come as a shock to anybody, and I knew to expect it too, but I did not expect them to be SO abrupt with the whole 'Lyme isn't in Oregon,.. PERIOD' attitude, and to CANCEL my appointment on me!! They won't even see me!!

I looked up info on my insurance this morning before they had even called. I suppose I cannot say 'who', but they are one that are also their own doctors & hospitals (hint-hint), and I found info that said they are in fact one of the worst when it comes to acknowledging or treating LD. I thought "oh, great! NOT",.. and I kid you not, 10-15 minutes later, the phone rang with the whole above saga taking place.

Oooh, and get this, in the same article I took note that it was mentioned that my particular ins./doctors also have some sort of policy in place that protects them from malpractice suits so that if they misdiagnose or refuse to treat, there is NOTHING you can do about it. I didn't know that could even be legal, but apparently they can. Makes me sick to my stomach!!

Oh, one more thing.... I swear, my blood is boiling, too,.. can't seem to get my mind off it & on other important things.

So, I even told them about how bad my cognitive skills have gotten, I have major long & short term memory loss, I make spelling mistakes ALL the time that I never used to, I type deslexic a LOT now, I have intense pressure in my head, and I make mistakes on things so much that I had to COMPLETELY remove myself from our business..... these are not things associated with Fibromyalgia!!! SOMEthing else is going on here, and has been EVER SINCE I HAD THAT BULL'S EYE RASH, and I believe it is Lyme..........

but, ya know,... I'm just some stupid layman who thinks she knows it all, right??

I was told, if I wanted to come in for something other than Lyme, then I could still come to my appointment,.. otherwise not to come.

I don't even want to go back there again,.. ever,.. for ANYthing now. :(

Persoanlly, I am thinking ignorancy & arrogance are even bigger epidemics than Lyme Disease,... and that's saying a lot!
I am SO thankful I found a good LLMD only an hour away. He's also a naturpath which appeals to me. I emailed him this morning after my fiasco, and explained everything to him,... not EVERYthing, but the key points for starters. He emailed me back, and wants to see me as soon as I can swing it. I told him I need to wait until payday next week. BUT,.. He said just based on the history I gave him it "strongly suggests borrelia"... he also included that "we won't be able to know for sure until we do the appropriate testing", and then added that he only tests for Lyme through Igenex. He gave me a lot of info on the fees for all the tests, and all the additional testing he would want to add if I come back positive, or even suggestive, plus for co-infections and all that. Also the CR57 or whatever that one was as a baseline for where I'm at and then attempting to gauge progress during treatment. He also added that even if it doesn't turn out Lyme, but something else, he can still help me (I mentioned how fed up I am with the conventional treatments for my "severe FMS" dx).

The info on his website sounds great, and his response was, too. I'm hoping I can get in Tuesday, but I may need to wait until the following Tuesday (he said a Tues or Wed was best so Igenex would have my labs by or before Thurs). My kids have their drama rehearsals Mon & Wed the next two weeks before their plays so we can't miss any... If I have to wait another week,.. it's not like I haven't already waited this long. One more week probably isn't going to do that much more damage................. Glad to have some positive news though after that dramatic saga this morning!

Sorry for the length again, guys!

SPLITTING headache!!

2008-10-28T22:04:00.001-07:00

I woke this morning with my head feeling more than full, but stuffy, too. My sinuses were killing me, my face felt like somebody had hit me in the cheekbones with a shovel. *OW* Maybe I am sick again, I don't know. I feel better now, except that instead of sinuses, I have a monstrous headache... my entire head hurts. From my nose through my forehead, over the top of my head, down the base of my skull and on into my neck..... just lovely! I don't feel "sick" like I have a cold or anything again, but who knows, maybe I'm getting a sinus infection. Oh Lord help me, I hope not.

My bodily pains haven't been as bad today, except my left knee did give me another scream test this afternoon. Thank goodness, it was only once today. Scared my kids again! :(

Tomorrow I have to leave the house... not looking forward to it, but the girls have drama & bowling league, and I HAVE to get some more groceries. We are out of everything..... I ordered pizza delivery tonight for dinner b/c we are that out of everything. We saved half for breakfast!! I feel like a rotten mom right now, but I just couldn't drag my butt out today. I've spent the last 4-5 days in sheer pain, and even though it seems to finally be lifting enough for me to function some, I am EXHAUSTED from it. It is amazing to me how much pain can wear you out.

I finally see my doctor on Thursday,..... I can't wait. I want so much to start TREATING this, and get to feeling better. I want my life back!

Ah well,.. eventually, right? Have to keep the ol' chin up. Hehe, that way I can get at my neck easier when I throttle myself!! j/k

I'm going to try to get some sleep...... ;)

Have my appt.

2008-10-27T14:25:00.001-07:00

I see my doctor on Thursday. I called and talked to the nurse again this morning, and told them about remembering the EM rash, a perfect bull's eye, from a little over three years. I also added that I remember waking and picking something tiny off my neck at the site of the bite. It was a teensy black speck so I thought it was like a itty bitty scab at the bite center. I never thought anything of it, except it had been a spider bite or something. I never knew until recently that ticks could be that small... as small as the period at the end of this sentence. ??? WOW. So, she agreed, what I thought was a micro-sized scab was probably the nasty little culprit who bit me! I'm taking in an enlarged copy of the photo of the EM rash for them to both view & keep in my file. They were concerned, as I am,.. because obviously I am late stage at this point. It explains a lot of what has been going on with me though, whereas they couldn't explain my symptoms before aside from determining that my FMS had gotten much, much worse.

I am thinking I probably got bit in my own back yard. I had a very full, flurishing garden that year. I really haven't been able to deal with having one since then. I tried the following year because I've always had one, but it went to pot b/c I didn't have the strength or energy to keep up with it. I didn't even bother trying to have one last year or this year. I keep hoping "maybe next year".

Anyway,.. three more days til I get in with my GP who has always been very supportive of me. So I'm hoping that is the case with the Lyme, too. And, I'm hoping she will be willing to give me the referral to the LLMD,.. I know that is a real challenge for most so I'm prepared for that hurdle.

Wish me luck!!

(((hugs)))

Ping, Ping, Ping!

2008-10-27T14:22:00.001-07:00

I am still having that stabbing sensation behind my browbone. The pressure in my head feels like a constant. One way to try to describe it, I guess, it that my brain feels swollen. I have sinus pressure in my face. My nose, cheekbones & forehead... maybe I'm not over being sick afterall, but I don't feel like this is a cold stirring back up, nor a sinus infection. Could be wrong, but this feels like that pressurized feeling my head gets from time to time. It hurts. I keep catching myself clenching my teeth from tensing up because of the pain. I'm trying to concentrate on relaxing my facial muscles, along with the rest of my body..... difficult though.

My shoulder pain has deminished significantly today, although I can feel it a great deal across my shoulder blades so it may only be a matter of time before it rolls down my arm again. I feel weak & tired, but I did sleep better last night. Once I was finally able to get to sleep, that is. ;)

It is still pretty difficult to walk. Wish I knew where my dang cane is... I misplaced it recently. Hadn't needed to use it since August. I'm hoping I didn't leave it somewhere. It's one of those foldup kind so I can keep it in a bag, but then have it if I need it. Most times I avoid using it because of my stuborn pride. I'm an idiot sometimes. I sure could use it today though.

My neck is still really hurting, and it's spreading into my upper back as well as up the back of my head... great. *rolls eyes*

I'm hungry, but I don't feel like eating. I have no desire to put something into my mouth, yet my stomach is growling. Maybe it's because in my mind, I know I will likely get sick to my stomach after I eat. I will eat... something. I know I have to take care of myself, and I am, but right now, the thought of eating anything is just a bit less than appetizing. :(

I homeschool,.... the stabbing pain in my browbone is making it difficult to even look at the books today. But, I must. Shortly, I think I will have to consider another nap though. *ugh* It feels like there's a tiny little dude in my head and he's using a jackhammer on my eye! *OW!*

Sick & Tired of Being Sick & Tired!

2008-10-26T23:48:00.000-07:00

I feel awful, no scratch that... I feel like complete crap with a capital C. *frown*

My head feels really full again. Not head cold full,... it's that pressurizedfeeling, like your brain is pressing into your skull. It doesn't hurt so much as it just feels really uncomfortable. I feel like I have to keep popping my ears and I feel off-balance again. I hate that. I bump into things, and my body hurts so much that even a slight graze of the wall feels like I was jabbed with a sharp object.

And, my ear is starting to bother me again. I went for almost a year of unexplainable ear pain & sound sensitivity. The doctors couldn't explain it. I couldn't even handle my DD whispering into that ear it was so sensitive. There was no evident hearing loss according to the auditory tests, and I never actually followed through with the ENT because it all just suddenly stopped as mysteriously as it had begun. The only thing that has remained has been the tinitis, more fuzzy-buzzy sounds than ringing, if that makes any sense, although I do get the ringing as well. The pain & the hypersensitivity hasn't bothered me in about a year and a half, but now all of the sudden it's got that same feeling it did when it started the first time.

I'm in a really bad flare again. Is this the Fibro, or am I what they call "all Lymie"?? IDK, but either way, I'm in a tremendous amount of pain. I've been going through this for three years already, and I am sooooo wanting my life back!!

My neck is hurting SO bad again, and it's radiating across my shoulder blades and then rolls over my left shoulder and down my arm. It usually seems to concentrate on my left side. Most of pains do. Although I do hurt all over my body, I've always had the worst of everything ever wrong with me be on my left side. I've never really understood that, but whatever.

I get a stabbing, aching pain in my elbow. My hands hurt, and all my fingers feel like they are swollen. They don't look swollen and they aren't red, they just feel "full" & they hurt. And, I have almost no strength in them. I can't open things! I can barely write... typing isn't so bad. It hurts, but I can do it.

I've been having back spasms again. The muscles start twitching & pinging & it's just horrible. My spine is extra tender again, too. My ribs feel sore high up on each side, just a few inches below my armpits.... My shoulders feel like the bones are sticking out of my flesh... it HURTS!

I've been having excruciating knee pain the last few days again, too. It's an intense, stabbing pain I am not entirely sure how to describe... like a hot poker has been jabbed UNDER my kneecap and then it's being twisted & wrenched around, and like my kneecap is going to pop off! Some of the episodes have actually made me start screaming,.. I scared the hell out of my kids! I felt so bad, but it HURT THAT BAD!!

My feet have been hurting really badly again as well. I don't know if it's the change in the weather with it getting cold & damp, a fibro flare, Lyme, or all of the above. I can barely get out of bed in the morning because my feet hurt so bad I almost fall over. The bottoms of my feet feel like they're made of glass, and they're going to crack if I put too much pressure on them. My heels feel like they're already broken. I know they aren't, but that's what they feel like. I wind up trying to support my body's weight on the railing, the walls, furniture, whatever,.. just to get around without hurting my feet more, or falling over, or having my knees give out on me. This SUCKS.

I've started having a stabbing pain right behind my brow bone. Today it's been the right side,.. the other day it was the left. This evening, it feels like it's going to hit be on both sides next. Sometimes I get these stabbing pains just in one localized spot in my head. Sometimes it's on top, or on the side, or sometimes it's like this, right behind the browbone, or in my eye. It's not a headache, and it's not a full on migraine, but like a migrain in just that one itty bitty spot.... again, like a stabbing, hot poker! What is causing that??

And, every time I eat I am getting nauseated now. I don't usually do that, but now everything is making me sick to my stomach. I don't throw up easily, I never have except in really extreme circumstances,... so I just get really nauseated.

I am so tired I can barely see straight, but I can't sleep. The pain is too much. I tried to lay down hours ago. Hubby got me all set with extra pillows, tucked me in, made sure the kids & the dogs left me alone & were quiet,... I even took some morphine thinking finally I would have enough relief I could rest, but no such luck. It didn't even touch the pain. Not remotely. The only thing that has worked for me has been the oxycodone, but I'm out. I'll be getting more this week, but in the meantime, I have no way to help eleviate some of this pain, and it is excruciating. I'm just trying to tough it out and do some surfing (& some whining) until my eyelids can no longer stay open... then hopefully I'll just pass out.

I can't sleep some nights, yet I can't wake up other days. I'm exhausted all the time. Sometimes I have to take naps, even sleep all day, and I'm still wiped out. I can't win. If I take meds to combat the insomnia and help me stay asleep without all the constant waking, then it just makes it harder for me to stay conscious during the day. But if I don't take them, I don't get that deep sleep you have to have..... and then that just makes all the pain worse.

What do I do?? I'm so sick of being "sick"!! *waaaah* :(

Okay, that's enough... sorry for the whine-fest, but it did feel good to get it out. OMG, I have sciatic pain shooting down my right hip now! *Agh!!*

I'm a Freak of Nature

2008-10-16T13:17:00.000-07:00

I swear though, I have so many things wrong with me it's ridiculous, and I'm always wondering what's next, ya know? It's not a hypochondriac thing at all, and Kat, I know you can relate as can my friend Andrea. Some of us just seem to end up with all the extra crap, LOL. I mean, I ended up being one of those 1/1000-1/2000 having gestational trophoblastic disease, otherwise known as a Molar Pregnancy. I had such a fast onset & quick progressing case of Grave's Disease the doctors were astonished, and I had to undergo near immediate RAI (radioiodine) therapy just to save my eyes. Following that, I had severe & dibilitating Menorrhagia/hypermenorrhea that I had to undergo a total hysterectomy, upon which they also diagnosed me with severe Adenomyosis which was caused from PCOS. Ordinarily in PCOS you wouldn't have Menorrhagia, exept in the case of the Adenomyosis! Go figure, but those small percentages always happen to ME. I also am insulin resistant. PCOS and insulin resistance are related, and guess what they can both be linked with? Yup, gluten! So anyway, after going through RAI and a total hyst, I am now on hormone replacements for the rest of my life for hypothyroidism and menopause, and now supposedly have dibilitating Fibromyalgia on top of everything else. Yay me, huh? LOL

Now, whether we have Celiac or not, I think that at the very least we are gluten sensitive, and am convinced that we need to do the testing, especially for Brittney who has many symptoms, and has battled Encopresis and MPA her entire life. We have seen a huge improvement since getting off milk protein (casein, whey, you know them all), but now over time, I am feeling like I see that we are also sensitive to soy, especially soy protein (and have you been reading on all the negatives regarding it? Scary). All the more reason I will not be surprised if it's gluten protein doing us in as well. I, especially, have major reactions after having soy & gluten proteins, but I do think that those things are what is still giving Brittney her remaining issues as well. And there are SO many studies now that show gluten as a DIRECT link to Encopresis, Fibromylagia, ADHD, Austism, Psoriasis, Dermatitis Herpetiformis, and of course Celiac at the very top of the list, along with many others. And another interesting find,.. there is now some question as to a possible link between NF1 (Neurofibromatosis Type 1 -- my youngest has this) and Celiac (Take a look at this article: http://www.functionalneurology.it/materiale_cic/27_XX_1/191_unusual%20association/article.pdf). She also has symptoms of gluten sensitivity/intolerance (especially the diarhea part for her whole life), and has very short stature. Classic. More and more pieces of the puzzle seem to be coming together to indicate to me that testing & elimination is warranted.

In addition, to now figuring in the possibilities of casein, soy & gluten protein sensitivities, I am concerned about the possibility that I also have reactions to lectins (oh, of course more protein related crap,...) I have been battling Dyshidrosis for YEARS. I'm highly allergic to nickle, mildly allergic to corn, and now most recently seems to be mangos (I'm having the same reaction as with the corn),... no, say it isn't so, not my mangos! I'm sensitive to acidic foods, too, and have to especially avoid tomatoes. I also am finding that I need to avoid oxalate containing foods (tomatoes, strawberries, raspberries, beans, asparagus, beets... some of my favorites!) for another condition I won't identify publicly (it's not contagious, it is AWFUL for the sufferer & there is no cure)......... Anyway, is there anything left I can eat?? LOL,.... I need GF/CF, soy-free, corn-free and as oxalate-free as possible. :(

I am planning on getting the Breadman with the gluten-free cycle as well as I want Bette Hagman's recipe books. I have some others on my list as well that come highly recommended. I still need to get an icecream maker. Everything is going to have to start being homemade......... and affordable. Seems the more you have to eliminate, the more expensive things can get, unless you go back to scratch anyway. I've already switched us over to rice & almond milk and I want to get that new MimicCreme, have you tried it yet? How about Teff? I'm really interested in that also. I want to avoid processed foods as much as possible so want to start going back to scratch and the OAMC. That's helpful when you feel awful most of the time.

Now that I've written another book,... help, Kat!! And anybody else with suggestions... Nora, Big T, Niina, or anybody else?

Bull's Eye

2008-10-15T21:29:00.000-07:00

So, I have been wondering about all the problems I've been having the last 2-3 years. I have REALLY gone downhill. I've been researching a lot lately on my Fibromyalgia and the links between Celiac, thyroid disorders, fibro & how so many things to be linked to proteins in our foods, and I think it's time we get tested. While researching these things though, I came across several things that kept popping up about how many Fibro patients are really suffering from undiagnosed Lyme Disease, too, and it got me thinking, nay concerned.

Why? Well, ordinarily this would not have spurred anything with me, but it did raise my curiosity because I have severe Fibromyalgia that didn't get diagnosed nor become disabling until AFTER I had a wierd rash,.... a bull's eye rash.

Have you heard about this? I feel like an idiot now, but hopefully, it really was nothing. However, it did appear a few days after I had been down the coast. I had thought it was a spider bite at the time, and had never done anything about it, didn't see the doctor or anything, except take a photo & tried not to scratch it. I had even forgotten about it until today. Anyway, thinking back, it was a few months later or thereabouts that I started having all the unexplainable ear, neck & jaw pain (and as I am realizing now, all on the same side as the bite... wierd), and then over the course of the next couple of years is when all my joint/muscle pain progressed to a disabling extent throughout my entire body, I started having headaches, severe insomnia, burning bones, eye pressure/pain (OMG, the kind that reminds of when I had Grave's Disease 8 years ago), major fatigue, etc., etc., etc., the list goes on & on. It could be a complete coincidence, of course, and I do have family members on both sides with diagnosed FMS (although I am seriously thinking it is related to gluten intolerance now, and yes, Kat, I know you told me! LOL) so who knows, but it's worth checking out, isn't it?? I am really hoping it isn't Lyme's...... but, dang, it would be just my luck, wouldn't it? That, and that it didn't get caught early enough.... *knock on wood* Seriously, I will be so ticked (no pun intended!) with myself if I have been suffering from Lyme's for the past 3+ years because I didn't go get that darn rash checked.

The symptoms mimic SO many things that it's all the more "in the air", but having so many things go so badly with me ever since then, and that I did have a classic Bull's Eye rash, it is just a bit alarming. I never really thought of that before, but I suppose it is possible, and therefore plan to check with my doctor and see what she thinks. Keep your fingers crossed that this is a false alarm!!

Here's what the rash looked like. Anyone familiar with this that could give me an opinion??

Going Nuts

2008-10-15T08:07:00.000-07:00

We've been having some furry visitors!

The squirrels figured out that the peanuts were coming from "inside" the house (after getting frustrated because the bluejays keep stealing them all from the potful I usually keep outside for them), and therefore decided to come up to the sliding door & "request" their peanuts from us! One even tried to come inside, but uh, no, sorry there little guy, that is not going to happen... so we went out onto the porch for them instead (can you say, run-on sentence?). It is pretty comical though because there have been days where they have come to the glass door and literally "tapped" on it to get our attention!

I don't have photos of the blue-jays, but they have been hilarious to observe lately, too. They come along, get a peanut and then hop or fly to various nearby locations and "hide" them. Then, they hurry back to get more & keep repeating this over & over. One clever blue-jay then figured out that if he just waited & watched where the others were hiding theirs, he could go steal them and have that many more to himself! One would bury a peanut in the barkdust then fly back to get another. Meanwhile this one would swoop down, dig up the hidden treasure and fly off to rehide it for himself. Another, started hiding peanuts by carefully placing them in the big tree in the front yard... How they didn't fall out, I don't know, but at any rate it still didn't work out because both the squirrels and the crows soon discoverd them! It was an incredibly funny frenzy!

Birthday Fun :)

2008-10-15T08:01:00.000-07:00

Ashey's birthday was September 29th, and she turned 9 years old... I cannot believe my "baby" is nine years old already! My heart grows bigger as each year passes,.. so full of love & fond memories, but there is a tinge of sorrow mixed in there, too. It is just a reminder of how quickly time passes by, and although I look forward to my children growing up and making their own lives, getting married, having children (my grandchildren!), and so on, I also want so much to hold tight to these precious few years we get to enjoy with them as children.

It goes by too fast... I keep thinking about how in only 5 short years Courtney will be the very age I was when I started dating her father! And, we were married 8 months later! *sigh*

Anyway, here are pics from Ashley's birthday...

Fun in the Sun

2008-10-15T07:41:00.000-07:00

Hubby finally caught up with me (he only missed a couple of hours really), and then we went off to have more big fun between both parks. I only ended up getting some scattered pictures because we were too buys trying to squeeze in as many rides as we could before our last day was over, LOL It was really sunny & hot so we did the water rides quite a bit (Grizzly Rapids on the Cali-Adv side & Splash Mountain on D-Land side), and ended up soaked from head to toe, but it was fantastic fun & felt oh-so good! We also came to realize that we LOVE the Mali-Boomer! It was the ONE ride I said I would never go on, but after he went on it, I decided to give it a try..... I love it so much, I went on 4 more times in a row! What a rush, and I love that most of Dismey's rides do not jolt me to the point that I cannot ride them. They are almost all so smooth that I don't have to worry about how they will effect me later with the FMS & everything else. The only one I really have to limit there is the Indiana Jones,.. it is great fun, but it is also extremely rough. Also, towards the middle of the slideshow, notice how beautiful the Cali-Adv side is at sunset! It was closing time & so serene! I tried to snap up a bunch of shots on our way out... beautiful!

Photo Ops :)

2008-10-15T07:34:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I caught up with a few characters, too, LOL... Only a few, but I knew the girls would get a kick out of it. They made me promise I'd wear Minnie ears, too, and I wasn't about to let them down. I did get a couple of odd looks, wandering around Disney, an adult woman by herself, wearing Minnie ears, without any children in tow, LOL! I didn't care though, my kids loved it when I got back! :)

Delightful :)

2008-10-15T07:27:00.000-07:00

Well, the second day at Disney, I spent the morning there by myself. Scott had his business meeting in L.A., and caught up with me later. Meanwhile, I took advantage of the opportunity to just wander around the D-Land side of the park & took snaps of the various buildings and other little "treats" in the architecture that one doesn't always take time to notice... such as bunnies & squirrels in the pillars of Snow White's manor, and many other delightful little surprises. I had forgotten how many comical querks Toon Town has in it, too,... what fun! We are always in such a hurry, scurrying from this ride to that, the shows, parades & pyrotechnics that we rarely take time to really look at all the little things, or at least we don't recall them much afterward because I do recall some of these things. But, the park was really light on crowds again so it was a great opportunity to get some pictures without a sea of people in them. And I was able to wander at a much slower pace, which helped because day two was a lot harder on me after the previous fun we had the day before.

Anyway, if you're interested, here's a look at what I did while waiting for hubby to rejoin me that day...

Chip & Dale!

2008-10-14T22:27:00.000-07:00

Well, I cannot get the video to load. *GRR* Oh well! LOL

I fought & fought with it, and am now giving up and going to bed... I will try to work on adding some more photos perhaps tomorrow. At any rate, soon. ;)

In the meantime, here's a fun pick I got to take with Chip & Dale. I haven't had my picture taken with Chip & Dale since I was 9 years old! I need to see if my mother has that handy somewhere... would be neat to have a copy to put together with this one, I think.

I {heart} Wall-e :)

2008-10-14T19:23:00.000-07:00

Okay, so next on the list,.. Scott & I got to go to Disney together, just us! No kids this time, which at times was sad because we missed them, and we want them to experience this fun again, too, but at the same time,... Disney is also a whole other experience as adults without children. We had never gotten to experience that before so it was really, truly wonderful!

Our first day back to Disney, we just didn't even really bother with taking pictures much. It wasn't busy AT ALL, especially on the California Adventure side, and so we just rode & rode & rode & rode & rode all the big rides that we love, and that we usually don't get in much because the kids don't care for them... so we actually got to do them, and not only ride them, but... TOGETHER! What a concept, LOL! It was fantastic fun, although as I said in a previous post, it did me in, and when we take the kids & go back for Christmas time, I will be taking the scooter. It will be busier in December, too, so it will be all the more helpful for me to have it. I've already ordered special organizer bags for the front basket & a big pack for the back of the seat so we'll have plenty of storage, and not have to pack anything around on our backsides that way, too. See? I'm turning a downer (the use of the scooter) into something positive. ;)

Anyway, so the first day was WONDERFUL for us, but the only real photo I have was the one I insisted on him taking of me with Wall-e! LOL Well, except for the ones we bought from riding California Screamin' & the Tower of Terror. I'll have to scan those another time though.

I do have a video he took while we rode the California Screamin'... maybe I'll see if I can get it to load.

Glow Bowling

2008-10-14T19:19:00.000-07:00

Scott & the girls had big fun at the alley for Family Glow Bowling. I wasn't able to join them as I had spent most of a week going back & forth between the hospital to be with my grandma. They took several pictures though so thought I'd share...

Hot Air Balloon Race & Mr Cosby!

2008-10-14T19:14:00.000-07:00

Scott & I were initially going to get up even earlier & take the shuttle out to the event to see the balloons up close, but instead, we decided to go to the roof-top, champagne breakfast at our hotel to view it. It was a special event, and we felt special being there so it was all good. :) The nice thing, too, was that once we decided we were done watching, we just went back inside, took the elevator to our floor, went to our room, and went back to bed for awhile, LOL

The sunrise was quite a sight!

The balloons were quite a sight, too. We have known about these events, but had never actually been to one before so it was fun!

And then of course, our main objective for going to Reno in the first place... Mr Bill Cosby!

Enchanted Village/Wild Waves

2008-10-14T18:59:00.000-07:00

Let's see, okay so next after the fair, Ashley & I went to Silverwood, which I've already done all my posts on, so then after that was the trip with family & friends to Enchanted Village/Wild Waves in Federal Way, WA.

I had a really rough day, as previously mentioned. I had a hard time with all the walking and was fighting tears a few different times. I was kind of relieved when everyone else went to play in the water slides, etc. so I could rest a little. Courtney & Ashley chose not to go in the water though so I still took them around to some rides and whatnot, but at least I was able to sit on benches while they had their fun. :) I could have really used that ol' scooter we have that day,.. Scott had even mentioned us taking it, if we drove up in the Tahoe, but my pride got in the way so I hoofed it. It is just really disheartening to think I need assistance like that sometimes. I have a fold-a-way cane, too, but I rarely use it,.. again, pride.

But anyway, it was still a fun day, especially for everyone else, and I got some good pictures... Have a look-see!

Seeing a Promise Through

2008-10-14T18:38:00.000-07:00

Okay, so are we ready for another sudden bombardment of photos? At least I get around to them eventually, right? I don't even know if anyone follows this blog anymore, LOL, but oh well... :)

Here are a few photos from our partial day at the Tillamook County Fair this year. As I said previously, the weather was cold & wet and my FMS was wreaking havoc on me as usual so we didn't stay for the Pig 'n Ford races. We mostly just went to see our promise through to Carol (Scott's mom), God rest her, and that was worth every ounce of energy it took for me to go. We miss you dearly, Mom!!

RIP, Robin~

2008-10-13T21:41:00.000-07:00

I have an update on Robin Shawlinski. I did not know her personally, only of her through a friend/family relation, but have passed on updates & prayer requests for Robin & her family. The following is the information Barb posted today:

Barb: "As most of you know, I post regular updates from Robin when get them regarding prayers and health updates on her cancer. Although we have not heard from her husband, Jordan was told by a close friend of the family, and I checked out a few of Robin's friends, and it seems that Robin has passed. Please keep her husband Bobby and children Sean, Rachel, and Shane in your prayers as well as the rest of their family as they go through this. Rest in Peace, Robin Shawlinski. You will be missed."

Please do keep Robin's family in your prayers as they grieve in their loss. It is difficult in these times, but we must also try to remember that our loss is Heaven's gain. Robin is no longer in pain, she is whole again. None the less, it is hard to let go of those we love so please do lift up her family in prayer, especially her husband & her three young children. Rest in Peace, Robin!

Time to Catch Up...

2008-10-13T14:46:00.000-07:00

So, it's been awhile since I have updated on anything much... since I'm sick & don't really feel like doing anything I figure now is a good time to do that. I will try to get caught up on pictures soon as well, I promise. :)

Before I proceed,.... today is Scott's birthday so, please go wish him a big "Happy Birthday!"......... Good lordy, he's "almost 40"!

And can you believe, Scott's dad just turned "60" on the 2nd! How time flies... Do you realize he was only 9 years older than I am right now when I first got together with Scott?? Yeah, he was only 43 then! Crazy to think about! :)

Obviously, I have managed to pull off several fun vacas this year. How, I still haven't figured that out, but by some miracle I pulled it off. There was a lot of recouping in between though from over-doing... this year has been a tough one with my FMS, and then just a couple of weeks ago I finally found out what else has been SO wrong. My thyroid medication quit being effective and my levels shot up throwing me into severe hypothyroidism, which has made me feel LOUSY, aggravated the FMS all the more, and caused me to gain all this weight *GRRR* But, now that we know what at least part of the current problem is, we are working at correcting it, and I am starting to feel better in those areas. Now, to lose this gaaaawd-awful weight!! :(

Regardless of the thyroid issues though, the FMS has been kicking me in the teeth regularly. The arthritis gets so bad at times I can barely handle the pain, and so I am now faced with the fact that, especially for these big trips to amusement parks, I will have to start using the scooter. HOW EMBARRASSING, but I can't do all the walking & standing otherwise. My bones end up feeling like they are on fire, and my joints stiffen up to the point of feeling like an 86 year old woman. That's SO not cool when you are only 34!!! So, if using the scooter on those trips saves me from going through that, then I guess I will learn to live with the humilitaion that comes with it.

This last trip to Disney in Sept., just Scott & I for two days was a blast, but after the first day I was near tears in pain. The second day, I really should have just rented a darn scooter, but my pride got in the way and I toughed it out..... then I came home and tried to recoup for the following 2 weeks. What a dummy.

Anyway, we already have a scooter. Scott bought one last year before we went on that last vaca with his folks. We wanted to make sure his mom had one to use where ever we went, and knowing my condition, knew we'd most likely, eventually, need one for me anyway. It has sat being stored all this time, still practically new,........ and I will be using it for the first time when we go back to Disneyland in December to spend 6 days for Christmas. Scott has joked about having our graphics tech add flames down the sides of the scooter so I can be "cool" on the stupid thing, LOL..... Uh, not necessary, thanks. ;)

We went to the Tillamook fair in Aug, the weekend before Ashley & I went to Silverwood. We had promised Carol we would sit in the new grandstands for her. Last year, they announced they would be tearing down the old wooden ones that had been standing there for 81 years, and replacing them with new ones. Carol had been going to that fair her whole life, and had been battling ovarian cancer for the previous 6 years. We all knew it was her last year at the fair. So, we fulfilled the promise of sitting in the shiny, new stands for her. Unfortunately, we didn't stay too long. The weather was cold & wet, and I was a mess with yet again, the FMS.

The weekend after Ashley & I got back from Idaho, we & a group of family & friends, went and spent a day at Enchanted Village/Wild Waves. Everyone had a blast. I mostly just walked around and snapped pics though because, again, the FMS was just too much.

Two weeks later, Scott & I went to Reno for a 4-day weekend. I am NOT a fan of Reno because it has really gone downhill over the years, but we went because that's where we had tickets to go see Bill Cosby. We also went to another comedy show, the Aphelion show and did the roof-top champagne breakfast for the Great Hot Air Balloon Race. We spent the rest of our time snuggling in our room *grin*, playing Keno & Midway games, and winning prizes to take back to the girls. We had no desire to hang out in the casinos. We had a fantastic time together both there and then about a week later we went to LA for a business trip of his, and spent a couple of days at Disney together.

School has been going GREAT. The girls are all doing excellent in their studies, and have been having a wonderful time with the homeschool groups both here & up in Hillsboro. I've been trying to make sure we have roots established up there as well so that once we finally get moved, it won't be so hard leaving our roots here because we won't feel like we have to start completely over. The girls are all involved in a new theatre group and each have parts in plays they'll be performing in next month. That, and they've joined a homeschool bowling league which has proved to be a lot of fun as well.

Scott just got back from another business trip down to the LA area. He took his dad along, and while there, they popped over and spent a day at Disney California. They didn't want to deal with the camera so the only photo I have is one they brought back from doing the Tower of Terror, LOL........ I'll have to scan it later.

We have two pumpkin field trips next week, one with the homeschool group down here, and then one with the other homeschool group up north. I'll post pics & details after. :)

Well, I guess that's about it. We've just been trying to go with the flow of things, and squeeze in some enjoyments wherever we can. I have missed catching up with everybody though so drop me a note when it suits your fancy... I'm still here!

Love & stuff always........ xoxo

9/11 Memorial - The Day the Eagle Cried

2008-09-11T09:37:00.000-07:00

I wrote this 6 years ago, after the attacks. I try to repost it every year.

God Bless & *NEVER FORGET*

_____________________________

The Day The Eagle Cried
In Steadfast Memory of 9/11/01.
By Tah-nee A. Holloway © 2002-07 ARR

A beautiful morning, that September dawn,
The sun shining down, life strolling along,
Children eating breakfast, mom straightening dad's tie,
Not knowing how shortly the nation would cry "why?"
Too soon the pain coming would be realized,
This was the day the eagle would cry...
---
Planes flying closely, their intent we'd soon know,
With loved ones held captive by terrorist foe,
Through one crash, then another, the towers did sway,
They tumbled and crumbled, then gave away,
Tears streamed down, hearts broke inside,
It was the day the eagle cried...
---
Sirens screaming, smoke climbed the skies,
Our heros ran quickly with tears in their eyes,
Firefighters determined to find & rescue,
Worked side by side with their brothers in blue,
But one loss after another, the numbers did tally,
Soul after soul walked through the Valley,
As viewers sat glued to their sets nationwide,
That terrible day the eagle cried...
---
The terror this day had only begun,
Still more crashes came, the tragedy not done,
The assassins continued, more pain they'd inflict,
The heart of the Pentagon would be their next hit,
Soon after brave passengers would falter their plan,
As their plane crashed down on Pennsylvania land,
Instead of the White House, believed the next site,
The eagle cried out as more people died...
---
Years gone by, the pain is still real,
But steadily God touches us, and we begin to heal,
We'll not ever forget, the memory lives on,
Our prayers continue, our faith keeps us strong,
With His Word to guide us, the horizon's in sight,
In spite of their efforts, together we'll fight,
No terror how great can make us divide,
Not even the day the eagle cried.

Columbia River Gorge

2008-08-27T18:25:00.000-07:00

Just a few pretty snaps I took when we were passing through the Gorge...

I miss...

2008-08-26T15:16:00.001-07:00

I was on an FMS Support Forum the other day, and it was suggested that you write out (& share) some of the things you 'miss' with having Fibromyalgia..... so I thought I'd post some of the things I miss.....

I MISS...

I miss me!!!

I miss not being able to think clearly.

I miss my clear head, my memory and quick thinking.

I miss not having to write notes constantly just to remember the smallest little things.

I miss waking up, stretching and not going, OMG, THAT HURTS!

I miss not being able to be as active as I once was.

I miss being able to stand up or walk without sometimes falling over or losing my balance.

I miss having the energy to do whatever I want, whenever I need it to get done.

I miss hearing "how are you?" and have it be something I can truly answer with the word "great".

I miss being normal... I don't even remember what normal is.

I miss being able to function at normal capacity, to remember something I read or saw 2 minutes ago, to be able to keep a conversation going without losing my ground, or feeling like I'm "stuck on stupid".

I miss making plans ahead of time and being able to stick to them.

I miss being able to depend on my body to do or feel how I want.

I miss feeling useful and dependable.

I miss being able to run myself ragged for a day hanging out with friends or family and knowing that tomorrow I might be tired, but not in pain for a week after.

I miss the friends I used to have.

I miss my happy go lucky, nothing is that serious, don't take things personally attitude.

I miss some of my independence,... that total reliance on myself to do things.

I miss remembering what a pain-free day felt like.

I miss being touched without having pain... to not be afraid of getting a hug for fear it will hurt, even though I want them so badly.

I miss being able to help my husband with our business more.

I miss being able to shop without feeling like it's going to kill me to accomplish it.

I miss being able to exercise the way I did to keep weight off.

I miss cleaning my house without having to quit because the pain sets in or worse,.. it sets in and I keep going which is usually what happens and then I pay for it for a week or more.

I miss my strength... not feeling like my arms are weighted down or like noodles, or having legs that feel wobbly, like jell-o.

I miss doing anything that didn't result in pain.

I miss being pain free......... :(

Fibromyalgia Sucks

2008-08-26T15:03:00.000-07:00

While I'm on here today... I feel the need to *whine*. Sometimes it just helps you feel better to unload. So, that being said, if you don't want to listen, don't read it, LOL *wink*

This summer has been miserable for me. Normally, I seem to be at my best in the heat & warmth of the summer, as long as it's not too hot anyway, but this summer, for one thing, took it's own sweet time even really getting started, am I right? I mean, I know people who were still wearing sweaters to stay warm in June! I know people who were still getting dumped on with snow storms in June! Global Warming I tell ya......

Anyway, I think that between that and all that I've been trying to accomplish so we can relocate back up closer towards our business, it has just taken a toll. I am quite sure that pushing myself to do special things with the kids added to it as well, but I just refuse to completely roll over & let this stupid disease beat me altogether.

I have been getting worse again though. The pain is almost unbearable lately. I feel bruised from head to toe, and the insides of my bones burn at times... like the marrow itself is on fire. IT HURTS. I have near constant headaches from all the tension due to the pain... it's a vicious cycle. The headaches range from barely noticeable to severe migraines. I have muscle & nerve spasms, especially at night. At first I thought it was something like Restless Leg Syndrome, but it's not just in my legs, it's other places, too. I literally jolt due to sudden reflexes repeatedly, and then that just adds to the rest of my pains.

It is getting harder & harder to 'put on my happy face' so that I don't drag everybody else down. I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me, I don't want anyone having to help me with things, and I certainly don't want anyone feeling like they have to miss out on anything because I can't handle it. But the more I push myself through things, the worse I get.

I think part of how bad I'm doing again now also may have to do with me weaning myself off of all the pills I was on. I have tried natural methods, but to no prevail. I went off the drugs because I didn't like being drugged up all the time just to feel good and 'have a life' with my family. I also didn't like feeling exhausted all the time, feeling like I couldn't wake up, and no matter how much deep sleep I was finally getting, I still felt like I needed more. It was worse than the exhaustion you feel just from the Fibro itself, but I just don't know how much more of this intense pain I can go through. I am seriously wanting to go back on the pain killers just so I can have some relief. But, I hate being dependant on narcotics........ that, and it requires me to take all the other meds. You have to literally sign a contract between you, your doctor & the government. I understand why, I do, but it is those other meds that just seem to drag me down all the more. Either way there is a price to pay. I need to be alert & functional... I have children and on top of that I homeschool,.. both are extrememly important to me. But, at the same time, I HURT SO BAD. :(

I guess what I need is more prayer! I don't usually ask for things for myself, but if you have read this far, and you pray.... could you please say an extra one for me?

Much love, and thanks to anyone who got this far! I commend you for suffering through it! LOL xoxo

Canine Cancer + Update

2008-08-26T14:23:00.001-07:00

Guess I'm trying to get caught up on communications a bit today.

Some of you already know, but recently our older dog, Tucker, was diagnosed with cancer. He will be seven years old in October, and so he's only just entering the "senior" years. Old enough to be called the "Old Man" of the house, but more or less still only middle aged.

Tucker is a Boxx, which is a Boxer-mix, and Boxer's are well known for cancer in the older years. He's had a number of skin tags & other benign growths turn up within the past year, but nothing of real concern until a couple of weeks ago when we discovered a large, hard mass in the end of his pemuce (his sheath). It had grown quickly because we hadn't noticed anything, and then suddenly there it was, and almost the size of a golfball.

They (the animal hospital) asperated and the cells didn't look good so they scheduled him for surgery a few days later. We shed quite a few tears over the weekend in waiting & wondering what would come of everything... in our home, animals are not so much 'pets' as they are considered our companions... members of our family. They're our fur-babies!

The surgery came & went and he did very well. they were able to remove it completely, at least they feel pretty good that they did, or close to it at any rate. Then, it was another few days to wait for his post-op check-up and the biopsy results.

I am very pleased (& relieved!) to say that our prayers were answered, and his grading came back much less than what was initially feared by the doctors. Only 2cm was Grade II (malignant) and the rest was still in the Grade I stage (pre-cancer) so things look a LOT better for his prognosis.

There is no telling how long it will be before the tumor grows back, and they said it most likely will,.. but for now, he's doing well!

Anyway, thanks to everyone who shared their concern, support & understanding in this. I had taken the diagnosis pretty hard, and to have the support of others who knew exactly how I was feeling meant a great deal to me so thanks again, you are awesome!

(((HUGS)))

Silverwood's Little Ambassador

2008-08-26T14:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, so you know I saved the best for last... the very best part of the trip! A dream come true for Ashley & something she will surely never, ever forget!

This moment was SO exciting for her,.. and Silverwood went above & beyond for Ashley. I am so grateful to them for all that they did for her, it made her experience all the more special & memorable... it was truly AMAZING for her. :)

Chugga-Chugga, Woo-woooo!

2008-08-26T14:07:00.000-07:00

The story of our trip was a mile long so I'm keeping notations in the posts for the pictures short & sweet! If you missed it, just look up the post titled, "Fun with the Big Cat!" :) Anyway, here's some snaps from our train adventures both days!

Ice Palace Princess!

2008-08-26T13:54:00.000-07:00

Here are the photos from Ashley's bit in the ice show... They didn't turn out real well, but my lil digi doesn't perform very well in low-lit spaces, especially with so much movement going on, but you get the idea! What a treat!

Garfield Palooza!

2008-08-26T13:51:00.000-07:00

Day 2 at Silverwood: Little did we know, but today was the big day! A day beyond Ashley's wildest dreams,.. when it came to Garfield anyway! ;)

Silverwood

2008-08-26T13:48:00.000-07:00

Day 1 at Silverwood. This was actually the second day of our trip, of course, as the first consisted of driving all day just to get from the middle of Oregon all the way to Northern Idaho, LOL :) That, I could not normally do, but by the grace of the Lord, I pulled it off. It is about a 7-hour drive straight through, but I knew we would need to make stops to rest & stretch, too.

Ashley LOVES Garfield so Silverwood was right up her alley. Silverwood is similar to Knott's Berry Farm, except that instead of the mascott being Snoopy, it's Garfield,.. but I bet you had that figured out already, LOL :)

She's not into all the major rides and this trip was all about HER so we did her favorite things. That consisted of riding the carousel, the Tilt-a-Whirl and the Scrambler over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over &... notice, too that they are all circular, "spinning" type rides... & over & over & over & over & over & over & over... are ya dizzy yet?... & over & over & over & over & over & over & over again! :) I tell ya, she had a BLAST, but I don't think I've ever taken so much Dramamine in my entire life, LOL!! Eventually, she had to start going on them by herself because my poor stomach & head couldn't handle anymore, but that was fun, too. She would laugh & giggle so much that my heart could have burst from the joy it gave me!

Here's a look at our first day at the park...

It's in the Little Things :)

2008-08-26T13:42:00.000-07:00

Our first night in our room, Ashey had previously planned out our special treat... we took fresh strawberries & bananas with us & dipped them in a chocolate "shell" sauce. The kind that cools to a crispy outer shell covering the fruit. She had a wonderful time dipping, and then of course came the eating part which was even better........... except that she had a few too many! But these are those fun, little things kids remember forever!

This is not something we make a habit of, but doing something fun like this once in awhile doesn't hurt anything so why not? It's all these magical little bubbles you create throughout life's journey that make it so enjoyable... these are such simple little opporunities to strengthen those bonds with your kids. They don't forget these moments! :)

Road Trip!

2008-08-26T13:36:00.000-07:00

Okay, so off Ashley & I went on our little Mother-Daughter adventure together... I don't know how we tackled such a long drive without assistance accept to say that we had help from above. ;) The drive was long. The drive was also very beuatiful, but it was also very boring, LOL. We did our best to keep ourselves entertained though. We chit-chatted about all sorts of things, told stories & jokes to one another & laughed a LOT. I listened to several of my homeschool support CDs, and she watched videos on DVD, played video games, played with toys, colored and took pictures, LOL. Above, you see a photo from our first stop at Multnomah Falls, and then the following, are pictures Ashley took of herself along the way:

Fun with the Big Cat

2008-08-26T13:34:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't been on a whole lot this summer... my FMS has really been taking a toll on me. That and STILL trying to get this house ready to put up *groan*, but I move at the pace of a darn turtle lately so of course it's taking me forever to accomplish anything, LOL ;)

Anyway, I did manage to fulfill Ashley's 'Mommy-Daughter' trip this month. I really haven't been up for it, and so instead of taking her in June as planned, it got held off until just over a week ago. I still wasn't up to it, but I managed to pull it off. I honestly think angels held me up or something because it has hurt to even walk.

We made the 8-hour drive on Friday, Aug. 15th. Started off early so we had plenty of time to make numerous stops along the way and stretch our legs, take a break (my arms felt like lead trying to hold them to the steering wheel for too long at a time), and so forth. We trekked back home on Monday, the 18th.

We had a good time! Ashley's two favorite rides are the Scrambler & the Tilt-a-Whirl so they are the ones that we rode the most, and when I couldn't handle anymore, she rode them by herself, still delighted as ever so that was great. I love listening to her laugh with such excitement & joy... it feels as though it could make your (my) heart burst!

The first day (Sat), she did not get to see Garfield, which had been her biggest hope in choosing this particular location for her special trip with mommy. So, that was a bit of a disappointment. We asked some shop personele, but were told he didn't have a set schedule, and you just had to take your chances basically. I personally thought that was dumb.

Ashley picked out a few choice souveniers, and there was no doubt that she is a HUGE Garfield fan. I'll post pictures as soon as I can get to them,.. what a cutie! She had a Garfield ballcap, Garfield necklace, Garfield, backpack, plushie Garfield keychain, Garfield shoelaces, and a plushie Garfield doll and Odie doll from their equivalent to a "Build-a-Bear" type shop.......... but no actual Garfield that day. *insert sad face*

The next morning (our 2nd & last day), Ashley decided to dress up in her orange outfit so she'd match Garfield (we had included in our prayers the night before & that morning that she would get to meet him before we left), and off we went.

This time the first thing we did was go to the Information Center to inquire about Garfield. Ashley wore all her Garfield "things" again, and had such high hopes of getting to see him that I wanted to do my best to try to find a way of making it happen for her. So we went to ask if they could perhaps let us know about when he might make an appearance so that we could go and wait for him. What we did not expect was what actually happened.

The Security Manager & other staff there were so delighted with Ashley and how much she adores Garfield that they were determined to make sure she got to see him, and without missing out on other fun by waiting for the 'chance' to catch him. Also, someone had told us that he doesn't usually come out on Sundays.... BUT! This is what they did for Ashley, and I must say that this, to us anyway, came as such a wonderful blessing..... this was one of those experiences that a child will never forget. If you would like to share in this joy, please read on! :)

We owe a HUGE thanks to the staff at Silverwood for making this possible. They bent over backwards for Ashley. It started out because she is such a tremendous fan, but it grew...

They arranged an appearance with not only Garfield, but Odie as well! Not only was Garfield not schedule to appear that day, but they never appear together. It's always one or the other, but not both. So this was a special deal just for her. They took my cellphone so they could call me as soon as they were ready, and that way Ashley could go enjoy some rides while they got everything arranged. I was so stunned (all we had wanted to know was if he would be out that day & approximately when so we could try to catch him), and so I pulled the Security Manager to the side where Ashley could not hear & told her how much this meant... that it was alsmot like Ashley getting a "wish". And then I briefly told her about Ashley's NF... NOT to gain sympathy or special favor, but so that she would know how much more this special arrangement really meant. I cannot tell you how many times I started to cry throughout the remainder of the day!

They ended up doing even more for Ashley (thus the continued tears). I did pull the gal off to the side again to make sure it was not because of what I had divulged to her b/c then I felt bad, but she assured me it did not (I am sure it did), but that it was because "Miss Ashley is one of Garfield's biggest fans & we don't see that often so I think she deserves some special treatment" (I did note that there are some things that they used to do with &/or regarding Garfield shows, etc. that they no longer do due to a lack of interest..... that made me sad! So, they were pretty excited to have a guest who loves him SO much!

And I understood their excitement about that even more when Garfield & Odie came out in the Pavillion to meet Ashley... I was prepared to have kids flocking all around in wait for their turn, but you know, nobody really did. Besides Ashley, there literally were only THREE other children who even cared he was there. How incredibly sad,.... he's Silverwood's mascot for cryin' out loud! So, no wonder they were so thrilled about Ashley. :(

Anyway, they let me take all the pictures I wanted, and then they brought out their photographer to take a photo... and surprised us with 6-8x10s and some wallets. Ashley's special copy reads: "Silverwood's Little Ambassador" across the bottom. While I waited for the photos to print out, they took Ashley to a nearby shop & gave her a bunch more Garfield souveniers... stuff she didn't need of course, but what fun for a child to experience! Little things like a banner for her bedroom wall, magnets, extra outfits for her plushies, and so forth... and they kept referring to her as the "Little Ambassador of the Day". She gleamed!

After that, they arranged for us to have a complimentary lunch at their restaurant, then gave Ashley a "pass" so she didn't have to wait in line at the rides (that helped me, too, b/c I was hurting so much!).

They have an ice show at Silverwood with Champion skaters from around the globe (my personal favorite was the gal from Russia!). Anyway, there is a portion where they select a child from the audience and that child gets pushed around out on the ice in a glittery sleigh by none other than Frosty himself, while various other skaters skate/dance around to the "Hot-hot chocolate" song from the Polar Express... very cute, and they made sure that Ashley was that chosen child for the 6:00 show. No one is allowed to take photos or video or anything inside the show,.. period. But, they allowed me to take photos during the portion where Ashley was out on the ice. Due to the low lighting and the fast movement, they are not real clear, but at least I got to take them! They are still ones to treasure, and I am very thankful that they allowed me to do that. I remember thinking, I wish I could take a picture when she goes out there! And then a few minutes later, the staff came over to explain at what point in the show they would come and collect her, and also that I could take pictures at that time. *yay!*

They also let her up in the steam engine of the train, with the engineers... it was 124 degrees in there at 7:00 PM! This engine is almost 100 years old (I think it's actually 96 or 97), and has quite an incredible history, although unfortunately I cannot remember it b/c of my stupid Fibro-brain, LOL! They were going to let us ride up there with them, but Ashley got frightened so we just checked it all out, got to watch them light it & everything, took pictures, and then Ashley & I got to go ride back in the caboose instead with the train's tour guide, Sheriff Steamer (he is such a neat man!), and he made her his little Deputy Sheriff, badge & all, and told her it was her job to make sure that everyone had a good time at Silverwood by sharing her beautiful smile. *aww* We got to talk to him quite a bit in between the tour info stuff so that was really neat, too.

We had an unforgettable time thanks to the staff at Silverwood who went above & beyond to make Ashley feel like a VERY special little girl, and I cannot thank them enough for that.

And what I love even more, is that Ashley knows how special this was, but she has also not let it make her "proud". She has shared her joy in it with a select few family members, enough that you experience her delight, but without arrogance. It only proves that we are doing something right in teaching her good values, and I am thankful for that. That we can share good things without being boastful... we can celebrate our blessings and share them with those who can embrace those good things with us.

Ashley is such a kind & loving child, and she has been through so much... it has just overjoyed my heart for her to get to experience a treat such as this, and I do believe God had His hand in it.

I only wish others could have actually shared in the experience with us! :)

I will post pictures soon... Love to all! xoxo

Katie-Bug

2008-06-03T13:15:00.001-07:00

Katie is continuing to show improvement! She has been able to eat a little bit & use the potty, and has even gone on an 'outing' down the halls in one of the hospital's little wagons. Everyone seems to be hanging in there pretty well, although I imagine they are exhausted from the rollercoaster of emotions that have soared back & forth between panic & relief,.. that and lack of good, replenishing sleep. Hard to rest well when you are constantly alerting to every little sound or movement, but that is all to be expected. It sounds like she will for sure be staying in the hospital until at least tomorrow, but may get to go home real soon after if she continues to improve the way she is.

Thank you again to everyone for your prayers! Be assured, God heard them & answered! xoxo

Latest on Katie ~

2008-06-03T02:14:00.000-07:00

From George: "well it looks like Katie will be at the hospital tell at least wed or later depends on her. now. they want to keep her tell she is eating. her vitals are good so they took her off those darn bepping machines ( who can sleep with all that racket) any way all but one IV to make sure she stays hydrated and to give her some pain meds. she did go for a ride in a wagon with barb and she walked to the corner from her room witch is good cause it mean she can walk and the motor skills are more or less good. so only time will tell and only her body can tell us when its time to go home. thank you all for your prayes and all your concerns. we will keep you all up to date on her as much as possible daily. I am home with the boys tonight to get the house cleaned up and so that we stop relieing on friends to watch them. I think that if Katie isnt sent home tomorrow I will trade so barb can get some good rest. thanks again every one "

From me: Thanks everybody! Keep up the prayers & good thoughts!! :)

UPDATE on Katie

2008-06-02T00:12:00.000-07:00

From me: Things sound fairly good, but please keep praying. She is not out of the woods yet. Even without complications, this will be a long recovery. This is what we know so far...

Katie was lifeflighted to a trauma hospital Friday evening. She had been hit by a Durango. There were children playing on one side of the road, and Katie was on the other. G had only left to run an errond, and the boys were watching Katie. She was playing on the trampoline, and one of the boys had gone inside to get a drink, and that quickly she was off and had gotten her bike. I want to note here, that Katie is not allowed to ride her bike when G or Barb are not home, and that she must always wear a helmet, however, she is a very young child, and so she did not think about consequences as children rarely do. She did not put on her helmet, and it sounds like she rode her bike straight out into the street in right in front of the SUV. Thankfully, the man driving was only going 5 mph. I will paste an exerpt below.

From Barb: "Katie is fortunate to have no broken bones and we all attribute that to his slow speed. She has a severe concussion and a skull fracture to the right side rear back of her head. She has a bruise on her left cheek in which we are assuming that is where she would have hit the Durango bumper. She has bruises and scrapes on both shoulders, elbows, knees, right forehead, inside of one thigh, and scrapes along her right back, but none of the scrapes were too deep. We are extremely fortunate in those areas.

She spent Friday night in PICU. Yesterday we moved to the 6th floor. She is lathergic, rarely awake, sleeping alot, but also restless and whining. She is very nauseaus and only taking sips of soda then not very well keeping them down. We have to work on that and also try and get her to blow bubbles to work her lungs to keep from getting pnuemonia. They say although they do not anticipate seizures from here, there is a slight chance, but when they did the original scan, there was no bleeding in her brain, so that is a good thing as well. We have to wait for a neuro eval tomorrow sometime and see what we are doing from there. I am nervous to take her home like this, as I am scared if there were something wrong I would not know because she is not vocalizing a whole lot. Right now, they say a good 3 weeks of nothing for her because any jarring can cause a secondary concussion.

So, for now, I know we are here at least one more night until the neuro eval, and I am going to ask for another CAT scan to be safe... ...Make your children wear a helmet! No matter how un-cool or where they ride. Katie has TWO of them!!! She was wearing ZERO of the two! She has a severe concussion from 5 MPH...I cry when I think of how much more had it not been him but some reckless teenager or even just someone doing the posted speed.

GT and I will try and keep updating as we know more. Right now, nothing has really changed since our arrival, just that she has had a few moments of more coheriency. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers."

PLEASE PRAY FOR KATIE

2008-05-31T14:32:00.000-07:00

We need reverent prayers for my cousin's 5 year old daughter, Katie, who was hit by a car last night. She is in ICU with a fractured skull, and so far no other notable injuries. The next 24 hours are critical,.. so far, there is no swelling of her brain.

PLEASE pray for Katie-Bug. That God would wrap her up in His loving arms and ease her pains. That He would work through the hands of the doctors to give her the best possible care, and to help her heal. That she will not suffer from any further injuries that may not have presented themselves yet, or brain trauma. Please lift her up in your prayers. Pray hard; pray strong.

PLEASE pray for Barb. As a mother, I know her heart is literally outside of her body on that hospital bed right now! Please pray for her peace & comfort, for strength in this awful nightmare she is going through right now. Pray that she will be able to allow herself the rest she will need for endurance, that her mind will break from panic so that she can be a shining light for her daughter. That God will speak to her softly & remind her that she is not alone in this, that He is there, and that He will carry them through this.

PLEASE pray for GT. He is one of the bravest men I know. He has served in the military for about 16 years, done several tours overseas, and yes, Iraq, too, and I am certain that none of that compares to what he is going through right now. Nothing can prepare a parent for this kind of thing, and I know he is scared out of his mind right now. He needs your prayers, too. Pray for his strength & clarity of mind, and that God would also work through him to be a pillar for Katie, Barb & the boys, but don't forget to pray for his aching heart. Pray for his peace & comfort, too.

PLEASE also pray for Zachary & Jordan. The boys were home babysitting Kathryn when the accident happened. It ocurred through no fault of their own, but I am sure they are feeling a great deal of responsibility. Please pray that God would lift that guilt from them, and that He would give them a peaceful spirit in all of this. That He would remove any doubt from their minds. That they would feel His love around them, and that they will find comfort. Thay they will not carry this burden with them.

Thanking you all in advance!

I will try to post an update when I hear any further news.

Fantasmic!

2008-05-27T20:24:00.000-07:00

Here's the Grand Finale, if you will... We certainly have scores & scores of more pictures from this trip, but I think you've gotten a pretty good look at it! :)

We had an AMAZING time, and I believe these new, happy memories will last Brittney a lifetime.........

I {heart} My GOOFY Kid! :)

2008-05-26T16:31:00.000-07:00

What an incredible bonding opportunity... I have to say that I am so very thankful to have been blessed to have these experiences with my kids this year. People who have multiple children know how difficult it can be to get in the important, one-on-one, quality time with each child. The kind that makes them feel truly special, unique to your heart, and an individual. I highly recommend taking out Mother-Child time, and Father-child time for that matter. It doesn't mean you have to go on some big trip to do it, and it doesn't mean you have to make special acommodations for each child on a daily, weekly, or even monhtly basis, but try to take time out to spend individually, periodically, as you can... they will never forget it, and your relationship will be stronger for it. I even try to make the point to have one-on-one chats tucked away in another room of the house, play one-on-one board games periodiclly, stuff like that as well. But, this trip,.. what a huge treasure it turned out to be for us!

From our third & final day, here are some favorite pics of my "GOOFY" while we were there... I think she makes the cutest Goofy I've ever seen, but then,.. I'm partial. ;)

Disney's Play Parade!

2008-05-26T15:58:00.000-07:00

This is probably the most fun of all of the various parades that Disney puts on! It's interactive with the audience, bubbles are flying everywhere, and watch out, you can get squirted, too! This parade consists of the newer Disney/Pixar characters, whereas the Main St parade has mostly the traditonal/original, although it has been updated quite a bit with newer Disney characters as well... ones they certainly didn't have when I first saw it at the tender age of 9, LOL :)

This parade takes place on the Disney California Adventure park side...

California Adventure

2008-05-26T15:48:00.000-07:00

A few pretty shots from around the California Adventure side of the park...

Lights, Lights & More Lights!

2008-05-25T14:40:00.000-07:00

Before the parade, we decided to start off the evening with blinky necklaces & went for some spinning, wobbling fun on the ladybug ride, LOL, those things are a bit wilder than the teacups, and harder to take pictures when you're moving so much,.. see? Goodness though, how we laughed!!

Then, we bought matching, blinky Mickey ears and found a primo spot to watch the Electrical Parade!

Tea-Time!

2008-05-25T13:28:00.000-07:00

We {heart} the teacups... C'mon, seriously though, who doesn't?? Even big, burley, grown men LOVE riding the teacups!! They are FUN!

And,.. they are even cooler at night!

Yo-ho, Yo-ho, a Pirate's Life for Me!

2008-05-24T14:01:00.000-07:00

We scoured the Pirate's Lair in search of our favorite, heart-throb pirate..... and found treasure!

And then we finally found him...... Cpt. Jack Sparrow!

I mentioned this in a previous post, but here's the story again to go along with the photos:

That day, we had our hearts set on finding Captain Jack Sparrow so Brittney could get him to sign her autograph book, and we could get pictures with him. We dressed in our 'girlie' pirate mouse ears... we were too cute! We searched all over the Pirate's Lair on Tom Sawyer Island, exploring every nook & cranny, and finally found him on the back side of the island,............. just as he was going on a break. *sigh* But! We used our noggins and stayed there and waited for him to come back, whereas almost everybody else went ahead and left. We waited there for a half hour before he came back, but it was well worth the wait because when he did finally come back, there were only a few other people there besides us so he took a lot more time, and played around with Brittney! It was hilarious, and nobody else bothered rushing up for their turn next because they were enjoying watching so much. It was just too funny! You see, this guy played Jack Sparrow to a 't'. He had the look, the lingo, the hand gestures, the whole mannerism of Jack Sparrow, just as Johnny Depp portrayed him in the films. So, he takes her autograph book, and gets her to turn around so he can use her back to sign it on, then leans 'round and toys with her a bit while unbeknownst to her,... he was pilfering her! While he distracted her, he had gotten into her backpack and taken out a key chain she had just purchased prior to going over to the island (& it was too perfect b/c it just so happened to be a skull, LOL)... So he gives her back her autograph book, and as she is walking away, he says something admiringly about 'his trinket'. Brittney says, "oh cool, I have the same.... hey, wait a minute,.. that's mine!". She asks him if she can have it back, he says, "oh sure thing, love, here you are" and passes her back the little shopping bag. She says thank you, and as she's walking away, I whispered that the bag was empty, then she squeezes it & realizes I am right, LOL. Meanwhile, he has wandered over by a rock wall, and placed his new found 'trinket' on top of it where he proceeds to admire it some more. Brittney marches over to him, and their conversation proceeds as follows: Britt: "Hey you stole that, can I have it back please?" Jack: "I didn't steal it,.. I'm 'borrowing' it, Love"... Britt reaches out for it, and as she's reaching, Jack grabs the skull back out of her reach with one hand while placing the other hand on her shoulder with which to hold her back! ROFLMAO,.... and he says, "You can have it back tomorrow, Love". It was such a hoot! Too fun!

M.I.C.K.E.Y. M.O.U.S.E.

2008-05-24T12:11:00.000-07:00

Day Two: You know the day is off to a good beginning when it starts with everybody's favorite mouse!

More to come,.. stay tuned! :)

The Sword in the Stone

2008-05-24T01:48:00.000-07:00

And what trip to Disney is complete without a tug on the ol' sword, eh? If only Merlin would've given her a little "help", LOL,..

Magical Moments

2008-05-23T21:39:00.000-07:00

After the fireworks, we wandered around and checked out everything all lit up... so magical!

Main St at night,.. it just glows!

What a WONDERFUL first day!!

Fireworks Extraordinaire!

2008-05-23T21:13:00.000-07:00

Our first evening, we chose to view the amazing fireworks display you see here... it was absolutely, hands down, the BEST fireworks display I have ever seen in my life. Truly stunning! We had an excellent spot right in front of the castle... An unforgettable experience!

Parade of Dreams

2008-05-23T20:42:00.000-07:00

These are also from our first day... We were fortunate to get some good seats!

Aladdin!

2008-05-23T20:21:00.000-07:00

We made sure that we caught the Aladdin show on our first day, too. This is not a show to be missed, and unfortunately, we had missed it during the previous trips. If you haven't seen it, when you are there,.. MAKE SURE YOU DO! You will not be disappointed! :)

Now, the pictures didn't turn out "great"... my little digi doesn't do as well in low-lit environments, and especially with a lot of movement, and this show has both. BUT, you will get the idea of what a fun, colorful & exciting performance it truly is. Here's a peek...

When You Wish Upon A Star

2008-05-23T19:47:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I'm getting some posted sooner than you might have thought, LOL

I know, I can go for lengthy periods without posting, and then suddenly I'm a post-junkie again... go figure.

Anyway, here are some snaps from our first day...

And now back to Disney... :)

2008-05-23T19:24:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am finally getting around to posting on our most recent vaca... This year, we have been blessed with the ability to plan some individual "Mother-Daughter" trips. Courtney obviously got to go to Chicago, and Ashley will be getting to go to Silverwood, Home to Garfield, LOL :) Brittney got to go back to Disneyland. We felt it was important for her to have a new experience there. Her last two experiences were the trips we took with Grandma before she died. For us, those trips are filled with wonderful memories with her... but for Brittney it had become the opposite, and only reminded her that Grandma is no longer with us. She couldn't remember hardly anything fun or happy about the trip anymore, and trying to relive those memories only made her sad. So, we decided that new memories would be a good thing, and how much more special would they be if she got to go with 'just mom', and have the whole trip revolve around her. Big fun!

We decided to go over Mother's Day weekend, and I have to say another big thank you to Daddy, Courtney & Ashley for being so accomodating & understanding of that. They were truly wonderful. Brittney & I flew out early that Friday morning, and we spent 3full days at Disneyland before flying back home Monday morning. We had the BEST time together!! We rode all of our favorite rides over & over, enjoyed many tastey treats, and saw every parade & show... many of those things we had all missed the first two times in 2006 & 2007. It was definitely a trip she will not forget... what a blessing!!

I will start working on posting photos... We took about a million *cough*, and that's only a slight exageration, LOL Anyway, check back soon!

Shedd's Aquarium

2008-05-21T20:11:00.000-07:00

We thoroughly enjoyed the Shedd's Aquarium. The architecture on the interior of this building is breathtaking... and check out the details on the lamps!

Part of what marveled us was how many species of tropical fish they have that we, ourselves, have here at home, only their's are MUCH BIGGER. In due time, we will be upgrading from our three 55 gallon aquariums to a 200+ or larger already knowing several of our species will need the room, but how cool to get to see in advance what they will end up looking like!

Unfortunately, we were unable to view the White-sided dolphins we had been so anxious to see so we have no pictures of them... the pool was too cloudy so we only caught brief glimpses as they would flit here & there.

The same was true of the pool that housed the Beluga whales, although a new mother did come near the glass enough for us to admire her in full view, along with her young, nursing calf. Very cool to see!! (Please note that the below featured photo of the Beluga & calf is not one of our own, but looks remarkably like what we got to see only with better visibility! I could not successfuly find a copyright so I am unable to provide due credit.)

Below, enjoy a slide of some favorite shots we took throughout the aquarium.

Chicago @ Night!

2008-05-21T20:04:00.000-07:00

Here, we have a few evening pics to share of the city, from just after sunset, and they are pretty, but the ones that will blow your mind are the ones we took from the Signature Room/Lounge on the 96th floor of the Water Tower Building which is home to the John Hancock Observatory. You'll know them when you see 'em.....

To try to sum the view up in just one word is nearly impossible, but a good start would be stunning to say the least..... the very least! Enjoy!

And BTW, those elevators scared the h-e-double-hockey-sticks outta us! Courtney almost cried & I have to say, I almost joined her! They go so fast they start to shimmy!

The elevators shoot from the 1st floor to the 96th floor in a mere 55 seconds!!

Running at 9.1 miles per second, they are the fastest in North America!!

Navy Pier

2008-05-21T19:57:00.000-07:00

Haha!

Our sorry attempt at taking our own photo! Hmmm, better to stop a friendly passerby and ask THEM to take it!

*insert cheesy grin*

Here are a few cool shots we got while we were there.....

Oh yeah, and if you ever find yourself in Chicago & down at Navy Pier, make sure you stop in for a bite to eat at

Capi's Italian Cafe'

.....and tell Gino we say, *Hi*!

~ Centinial Carousel ~

2008-05-21T19:45:00.000-07:00

For not being refurbished this carousel looked AMAZING. Either it was taken impeccable care of, or somebody's stretchin' the truth because it is one of the most BEAUTIFUL carousels we've ever seen!!

Brookfield Zoo

2008-05-21T18:21:00.000-07:00

Here, enjoy some slides of our trip to the Brookfield Zoo, which spreads over 216 acres, and is home to one of the largest, hand-carved, non-restored, wooden centinial carousels in the country. Brookfield Zoo, opened in 1934, and is known for its extensive use of open-air, unbarred enclosures. It is owned by the Forest Preserve District of Cook County and is operated by the Chicago Zoological Society.

A was a beautiful day while we were there, and we had so much fun together. It was really nice to be able to share some on-on-one time with eachother. Time we will never forget... I will treasure those 5 days always.

PS- Courtney took AND edited ALL of these photos w/ exception only to the ones I took OF her! Pretty terrific job, I think!!

We {heart} the Cubbies!

2008-05-21T18:17:00.001-07:00

So, I know there a few out there that still follow this blog (although rarely comment *hint-hint* LOL), and have been anticipating new pics from my recent trips with the girls. For starters, here's a slide from the *highlight* of mine & Courtney's adventure in Chicago,... the Cubs game! I will get more pics up shortly,.. *pinky swear!*

So after a long, INCREDIBLE day at the game, and surviving both the bus and the subway......... back at our hotel room, we were exhausted. Happy, but exhausted, LOL! And check out the smile on my baby-girl's face,........ *PRICELESS MEMORIES* forever engraved on my heart.

Where Dreams Come True

2008-05-14T08:59:00.000-07:00

We are back from Disneyland! We got back in on Monday, but the jet lag has been doing a number on me, LOL. I don't actually think I was quite recovered from it after getting back from Chicago before jaunting off to eastern Oregon, and then to California & back...

Lately, I haven't been able to figure out whether I'm coming or going, but it has been one fun ride for the most part! The aftermath kind of sucks because it really wears me down and flares up my Fibromyalgia, but it has been worth it for all the treasured moments with family, especially my kids!

So Brittney & I got up at 2:15 A.M. Friday morning, grabbed our stuff, and headed up to Hillsboro to pick up Scott so we could have him drop us at the airport and not have to mess with parking the car at the airport. Got through security without a hitch (no snow globes on me this time! LOL), and got settled in at our gate with plenty of time to spare. The flight went well, although Brittney did kind of start to freak out a bit on take-off, but once we got high enough she was all, "Hey, this is cool!", and she started snappin' pics left & right, LOL. Landing at the SNA is bumpy! But Britt loved it! We caught our shuttle to the hotel, checked our bags and then headed across the street to Disneyland! We hit the California Adventure Park first, and spent about 6 hours there before we headed back out across the street to grab a bite to eat. Oh, while on that side, we made sure and caught the Aladdin show, which we hadn't gotten to do before, and it was AWESOME! If you haven't seen it yet, make sure you do next time you're there,.. It is well worth the time!! After dinner, we went to our hotel room and laid down for about an hour before heading back over to the parks, then we did the Disneyland side for another 6 hours. We made sure we caught the Parade of Dreams and had front row seats for the huge fireworks display that night. By the time we got back to our hotel and settled down for bed, it was after 1:00 A.M., and aside from the quick nap we took, we had essentially been up for 23 hours! We were exhausted so we let ourselves sleep in a bit the next morning, got breakfast & were back over at the parks around 10:30.

That day, we had our hearts set on finding Captain Jack Sparrow so Brittney could get him to sign her autograph book, and we could get pictures with him. We dressed in our 'girlie' pirate mouse ears... we were too cute! We searched all over the Pirate's Lair on Tom Sawyer Island, exploring every nook & cranny, and finally found him on the back side of the island,............. just as he was going on a break. *sigh* But! We used our noggins and stayed there and waited for him to come back, whereas almost everybody else went ahead and left. We waited there for a half hour before he came back, but it was well worth the wait because when he did finally come back, there were only a few other people there besides us so he took a lot more time, and played around with Brittney! It was hilarious, and nobody else bothered rushing up for their turn next because they were enjoying watching so much. It was just too funny! You see, this guy played Jack Sparrow to a 't'. He had the look, the lingo, the hand gestures, the whole mannerism of Jack Sparrow, just as Johnny Depp portrayed him in the films. So, he takes her autograph book, and gets her to turn around so he can use her back to sign it on, then leans 'round and toys with her a bit while unbeknownst to her,... he was pilfering her! While he distracted her, he had gotten into her backpack and taken out a key chain she had just purchased prior to going over to the island (& it was too perfect b/c it just so happened to be a skull, LOL)... So he gives her back her autograph book, and as she is walking away, he says something admiringly about 'his trinket'. Brittney says, "oh cool, I have the same.... hey, wait a minute,.. that's mine!". She asks him if she can have it back, he says, "oh sure thing, love, here you are" and passes her back the little shopping bag. She says thank you, and as she's walking away, I whispered that the bag was empty, then she squeezes it & realizes I am right, LOL. Meanwhile, he has wandered over by a rock wall, and placed his new found 'trinket' on top of it where he proceeds to admire it some more. Brittney marches over to him, and their conversation proceeds as follows: Britt: "Hey you stole that, can I have it back please?" Jack: "I didn't steal it,.. I'm 'borrowing' it, Love"... Britt reaches out for it, and as she's reaching, Jack grabs the skull back out of her reach with one hand while placing the other hand on her shoulder with which to hold her back! ROFLMAO,.... and he says, "You can have it back tomorrow, Love". It was such a hoot! Too fun!

We played on the Disneyland side until about 5:00, and then went back out to get dinner & take a short rest before going back over to the Cali-Adventure side for the Electrical Parade. It is still as awesome as I remember it! Better even! Britt LOVED it! We got front row right along the bridge so we lacked for nothing, it was fantastic! We bought light up neck rings & matching mouse ears so we could twinkle & flash right along with the parade, and that just added to our fun! I don't think we had stopped smiling for either of those first two days!!

After the Electrical Parade, we called it a night so we could get some rest and use our early entry pass the next morning. That worked out great because aside from a handful of other people, we pretty much felt like we had the entire park to ourselves for the first three hours! There were so few people that we got to take second rides without even having to get off from the first,... no lines, no waiting, just running around and having a ball! What a fun way to spend Mother's Day! The only downside was that I didn't get to spend it with all my girls, but this was such a wonderful time for Brittney & I together. Something not to be forgotten, for sure! About 10:00, we went back out and had breakfast and then over to our room to lay down for an hour before heading back over to the parks again. We had quite the experience that afternoon on Splash Mountain, too,... We had already gone down the waterfall, and were just finishing up the ride inside the lower tunnel when all of the sudden we stopped, along with several other logs full of people. Then we proceeded to sit there for about another 20 minutes waiting for Disney Team members to come "rescue" us, LOL. They had to shut down the ride due to an apparent log jam, and then had to come assist us out of the logs so we could walk out along the foot and a half wide path. Then, we came out on the backside of the ride, and had to proceed through tunnels underneath the ride to get back on the correct side. All while assisted by team members and being reminded not to take pictures because according to one guy, "if they ended on MySpace, I'd get fired", LOL. Then, they gave us free Fast Pass good for any ride except Finding Nemo.

We used it for another ride on Indian Jones, which is Britt's FAVORITE ride!

Then, we got great seats for the Fantasmic show on the water,... LOVED it! After that, we headed back to the room, where Britt collapsed on the bed and was snoring probably before her head even hit the pillow, LOL,.... meanwhile, I still had to pack everything up, and schedule a wake-up call & our shuttle pick-up before I hit the hay myself at a quarter after 11:00.

We were up at 3:30 AM, and Britt woke with a fever. She held out until we got to the airport & through security again,.. Then I had her lay down near our gate while I searched out some ibuprofen at one of the little shops nearby. Thankfully, they had some, even if it was half the amount for twice the price! Figures... but, she started feeling better shortly and that's all that mattered!

Flight home was good. I think we slept most of the trip home, LOL.

Scott picked us up, but had to borrow his dad's van because apparently my car decided to break down on him that morning. It's been in the shop since, but a minor issue compared to what it could have been. A very close call so I am relieved at only having a few things needing to be replaced rather than what could have been my whole engine from what they were explaining to me. They said I was really lucky. Nothing I could have known about prior, just a fluke problem.

So, we're back home, and I am feeling the jet lag again, along with fluish symptoms... I guess Courtney & Ashley were sick most of the weekend, too. Anyway, it was an AWESOME trip!!!

We got snap happy so there are a TON of pics, but once I get around to that I will try to just share our favorite "highlights", although that will still likely mean a LOT of pictures so beware! LOL

R.E.N.T. Performance Cancelled

2008-05-02T12:44:00.001-07:00

I am SO disappointed!! I got an email saying it's been cancelled, and my money will be refunded within 2-3 days........ I was so looking forward to seeing it on stage.... And I had great seats, too! *insert sad face*

I am totally BUMMED.

16 Years

2008-05-02T12:28:00.000-07:00

Well, since I've already written practically a novel on our trip to Chicago,.. I will keep this post short & sweet!

Today, is mine & Scott's 16th wedding anniversary!! 16 Years!

I'd say that in today's day & age,.. with a large amount of people either electing not to get married altogether or succumbing to the nauseatingly high divorce rate, that this is quite an accomplishment. And Lord knows, we've teetered on the edge a number of times ourselves, but we've made it this far!

XOXO

Alex is Home

2008-05-02T12:16:00.000-07:00

From me: As most know, I was gone to Chicago all of last week so I am only just now getting caught up on the computer. But, here is the latest on Alex! I know there are those who have been wondering... he is okay & he is at home! Thanks for all those prayers, you guys!!

From Bri: Apr. 24th 7:30 PM -- So Alex has been home for a couple days. He has been feeling mostly been ok. His bandage changes have been quite the experience. We have an antibiotic schedule that is around the clock. We have alarms set for 6am 12pm 6pm 12am. He is not the nicest boy at 12am and 6am lets just say.

Today we went to Alex’s school for lunch and recess. When we walked into the cafeteria the kids started clapping. He turned red. He had about 10 boys around him all talking at once. I have not been in school for lets say…..A long time. It was funny to see the six grade at work. Alex stood with a group of boys …while groups of girls walked by closer and closer. The girls were very concerned. None of them really got to talk to him. He had a wall of boys around him. He was so happy when we left. I could really tell he wanted to stay. We are hoping by the end of next week he will be back in school. He will be able to go but not participate in p.e or recess. His wound is still horrendous. Our fear as parents is that someone will inadvertently hit him in the stomach.

I have to say It’s so nice to be home. Home is where the heart truly is. I see so much progress from Alex now that we are here. He feels better every day. Tina and I could not ask for more than that!. Thanks everyone for worrying so much about us.

We are blessed with amazing friends and family!

Back from the Windy City!

2008-05-02T12:04:00.000-07:00

Okay, so we are back! We got back Saturday actually, but it has taken me this long just to get around to editing & posting pics, of which I am still not quite finished.

We flew out the Monday before this last, on the 21st of April. Had a connecting flight in Denver, but was easy enough because it ended up being the same plane, LOL. Had us get off, then get right back on,... probably the fastest layover ever!

This was Courtney's first time flying, and my second... but my first was 13 years ago so this may as well have been my first all over again for the little I recall of the last time. Anyway, she did really well, despite being nervous. We had a bit of turbulance landing in Denver, but no more than to be expected. All in all a pretty good flight. We got in to Chicago about 6:30 PM, collected our luggage, got the rental car, and headed off to the hotel. It wasn't until after we got to the hotel that we learned that a limo had been waiting for us. Ah well, I needed the rental car anyway. ;)

We had a mistake with our room. It was supposed to have two queen beds, but only had one king. The hotel was completely booked up already due to multiple conventions so we were stuck with what we had. They sent up a roll-away, but that was a complete joke. The frame was a mess, and half the springs were disconnected. When I lightly pressed on the mattress, it fell through almost to the floor! So, the three of us shared the king!

Tuesday, Courtney & I slept in a little in order to adjust ourselves to the time difference, then went downstairs to breakfast at Bananas Grille, which BTW, has *EXCELLENT* food... then we got ready & headed off to Wrigley Field for the game. It came highly recommended not to try to park anywhere in the vicinity of Wrigley so we heeded that advice. Our hotel was in Tinley Park, where Scott's convention was held so we had to drive about a half hour to Chicago. We parked near Union Station, then took the bus over to the Red Line............. then standing on the sidewalk, looking down the stairs, was when we realized that the Red Line was in fact......... the subway. *gulp*

But, hey, we lived to tell about it! LOL

And in case you are wondering, let me just clarify that yes,...

Wrigley was *AWESOME*!!!!!

We had the time of our lives! What an experience! We had excellent seats, and the Cubbies played their hearts out! No nose-bleeder seats for us, no, we had Field Box seats, 6th row! It was great!! The Mets made winning look too easy,.. they just plain stunk up the place, LOL. I mean, even their fans were booing them! Seriously, we had 6-7 guys that had came from New York to watch the game. They were head to toe in their NY Mets gear, and screamin mad at their Mets players,... hilarious! What was even funnier was when the crowd started chanting, "New York Sucks! New York Sucks!" that went around the stadium like a wave, and those guys were chanting right along with everybody else! Other highlights included the crowd singing & dancing to "YMCA" and later, "Take Me Out to the Ball Game". Very cool. Courtney & I also enjoyed hot pretzels, lemonade & then icecream in little Cub helmets... fun! But the best was when the bases were loaded and the Cubs got a Grand Slam!

The Cubs beat the Mets 8 to 1..... Afterward, we tried not to get swallowed up in the sea of people, but that's easier said than done. We wanted to get our picture in front of the Wrigley sign, and it would figure that we ended up essentially walking all the way around the outside of the stadium to find it. Of course, it was on the last corner, LOL. Outside, there were street performers,.. our favorite was the "Drumline"of sorts. These guys played the drums on buckets, and it was SO cool. Maybe I'll try to paste a video on here later...

Riding the subway back was a whole other experience... elbow to elbow people, and us trying to keep track of which stop was our's. But we did well. We survived the subway! We didn't get mugged, and we only got some mild hazing from some Socks fans at the bus stop, LOL. It would figure that us, being dressed head to toe in Cubs gear, would end up waiting at the bus stop with several White Socks fans, but they went easy on us. ;) So, that was Tuesday!

Wednesday, we went to Brookfield Zoo. We spent pretty much all day there, and really enjoyed ourselves. This trip was such a great one-on-one bonding opportunity for Courtney & me. I mean, we are already super close, but this is one of those things that we will never forget... this trip together and all the fun we had, just the two of us. So, I'm really thankful for that.

Wednesday evening, we rode the commercial bus with Scott & 50+ of his collegues, back into Chicago, down to Navy Pier for dinner. They all went to Bubba Gump's while Courtney & I went to Capi's Italian Cafe next door. Then, we walked all around the pier..... and accomplished most of it before they even got any of their food over at Bubba's. But, their group had almost 60 people so of course it took longer for them. I couldn't convince Courtney to ride the ferris wheel with me.... can't say I blame her, it was the biggest I've ever seen! She rides the one at the State Fair, but this one put that one to shame, that's how BIG it is. So, we admired it from the ground, LOL... After everybody was done with dinner, we piled back on the bus and headed over to the Water Tower building. We were told we were going to the John Hancock Observatory, but we actually went higher. We went to the Signature Room Lounge on the 96th floor! I will post pics soon. The pictures don't do the view we had justice at all, but you'll get the idea. It was amazing!

Thursday, we went to the aquarium & the planetarium, and then Friday we spent at the museum of natural history, up until time to head over to the airport and return the rental car.

Then, just as we were waiting to step onto the plane, I saw lightening striking in the distance... and by the time we were in our seats a short few minutes later, the storm had already reached us. It was like a monsoon! The rain was literally blowing sideways, the lightening flashed repeatedly overhead, and felt a little too close for comfort, while the wind literally & violently rocked the plane from side to side! Traffic Control actually shut down the entire airport, and we sat there in the plane, being tossed around (thankfully on the ground) for over an hour. They informed us that a second storm was right behind it, but they were going to try to get us out in between them if at all possible. On the outside, I held my cool for Courtney, but on the inside, I have to say, I was completely unnerved. But, we made it... Our flight had been late already because the plane had to divert the storm coming in, then we lost time stuck in the storm ourselves... and so by the time we took off, we were almost 2 hours off schedule. We were hoping our connection going home would be like it had been on the way out, whereas it was the same plane, but no such luck this time. Of course, it was a different flight on the way back, and being nearly 2 hours late, we had missed our connection flight. There were no more flights going out that night so we were stuck in Denver. And, since it was a weather issue, and not the airline, they didn't accomodate us with rooms... just a discount.

So, we got our room, being told that it was only 15 minutes outside the airport, and that the shuttle came 'round every 15 minutes as well. We were also informed that we couldn't get our luggage, that it would be held for our next flight in the morning. So, no jammies, no toothbrush, no deoderant, no meds... oh joy. Then we proceeded to go outside to the shuttle pick-up island.... at 10:30 PM in Denver at 5,000 feet, and it... was... COLD. And the shuttle that was supposed to come around every 15 minutes........ didn't. We sat there for almost an hour. We called them twice, and two other sets of folks called them at least a couple times between them as well, and we all kept being told the same thing. They didn't know why we had missed them, but another would be around in 15 minutes. *Argh!*

Finally, the shuttle arrives, and we all pile in like a can of sardines because nobody wanted to have to wait for it to come back again (& so the three of us got quished all the way in the back), and that's when we find out that the hotel is actually quite a bit further than a 15 minute drive. That's when we find out that going 60+ mph, it takes a good half hour to get to our hotel because the airport's property extends out for half that distance. Yes, it took 15 minutes, going 60 mph, just to reach the outside perimeter of the airport's property! Then, when we finally made it to the hotel, we were of course the last ones to be able to get off the shuttle, and being as such, we were then at the end of the line to get checked in at the front desk. It took 45 minutes just to make it 20 feet to the front desk. By the time we got to our room it was almost 1:00 AM, and we had to get back up in 5 hours in order to make it to our flight home. We were exhausted.

Oh, and that's not even the best part, LOL,... while in Chicago, we had purchased a number of pins & snow globes to bring home for Brittney & Ashley (B collects lapel-type pins & Ash collects snow globes), and not wanting them to get broken, I elected to buy a bag to take back as a caryy-on............ Keep in mind that I have only flown once before, 13 years ago, well before all the changes that resulted from 9-11. So, of course, I quickly learned at the airport in Chicago that I would have to check the bag in order to get through security. So, I did.... certain everything would get broken. We got through security, and then as a just-in-case measure, I purchased a couple more snow globes. Now this would have been fine had we not missed our connecting flight in Denver, but because we did and had to stay over,... well, we had to go through security again. We were told that two little snowglobes shouldn't be a problem, but oh guess what,.. they were. Security made me go back out with them. So, I bought another darn bag & a fleece to wrap them in, and checked the bag! I even had to throw my UNOPENED bottle of water away at the security check point. They said I could either dump it out or drink it, and take the empty bottle through the check point and then refill it on the otherside, or I had to just throw it away..... so I did. *grumble*

Anyway, we got home sometime Saturday afternoon, after getting out of the airport, picking up the other kids from their cousin's, and driving an hour home. And then I still had to go to the boarding kennel to pick up the dogs. And we've since been fighting head colds,... darn airport germs, LOL

It was an EXHAUSTING trip, but quite an experience! One not to be forgotten. We had a ball, and even the crummy parts can't bring it down. It was, all-in-all, a FANTASTIC time!!

I will post pics soon!! And, Britt & I leave on our own "mommy-daughter" trip at 6:00 AM next Friday for 3 days at Disneyland.......... *grin*

Latest Updates on Alex

2008-04-18T22:31:00.000-07:00

From Brian: 04/18/08 9:15 a.m.-- Met with the Dr's this morning. They are not wanting to operate on Alex's second abscess. They are hopeful that the antibiotics will do there job. The plan is to wait a few days and retest his blood count. He is very sore and tired today. The staff was in our room what seemed like 100 times last night. He is resting comfortably watching blades of Glory. Nothing planed for the day. Hopefully we can get the boy some rest. We are going to try and get Alex out of the bunk today. He doesn’t feel like he will be able to get up today..
We will try our best…….

Everyone have a great day!

___*UPDATE*___

From Bri: 04/18/08 7:48 p.m.-- Well all and all today was a good day. Alex is very sore. His abdomen is very sensitive. ….but hey who’s wouldn’t. They installed a three way valve in Alex’s drain. They back flushed it to make sure it doesn’t clog. He has been watching movies …playing guitar hero and building sculptors out of plado. Been tiring to keep him occupied. We have had a lot of laughs today. Tried to get up today but was unable to straighten up. Dr’s are going to retest his white blood count on Monday. So it is just a waiting game for now.

We learned something yesterday that really pisses me off. When they install a drain it has a wire attached to a string that goes up the tube. The reason is the tube is a coil like a piggy’s tail with holes in it to absorb infection. The way to remove the drain is u cut the tube which takes tension off string and wire. That way it comes out straight with no tension on it. Well………..one of the worst things Alex has gone through is when they pulled his drain out in Astoria. They never cut the tube. They just grabbed it and jerked it out of him. Alex hit the roof. The pain that was supposed to last 5 seconds never went away. That’s when all the problems seemed to progress. I told the Dr up here how they removed it and he grimaced. He said that would be like pulling the tube out with a rock attached to it. Nice! Alex is really nervous about the removal. I can imagine after the first one. I will never get anything major done at that hospital again. I will rent a helicopter and fly to Portland if I have to.

Alex is currently working on his guitar hero skills. I do fear that he is enjoying bossing dad around a little too much…LoL We love u All…..

From me: I support that thought completely... I am SO NOT a fan of Columbia Memorial!! Never have been and never will be. [No offense, Dana! ;)]

Good News for Alex

2008-04-18T00:16:00.000-07:00

From Bri: 04/17/08 9:05 p.m.-- Well Alex had his procedure this afternoon. It went really well. They installed a drain tube right through his abdomen right below his belly button. He had a huge amount of fluid drained by the surgeons. They could not believe how much was in there. Its been several hours since surgery and his bag has so much in it its amazing. No wonder he was so sick. They don't believe that his to abscesses are attached. The plan is to wait till his drain quits oozing. Then retest his blood count.

On the lighter side Alex was hilarious when they gave him the Anastasia. He was pretending he was on a rollercoaster. He was also pretending his heart rate monitor was a light saber. I was laughing so hard.

After the surgery he woke up in lots of pain. After some meds he was able to tolerate the pain. He quickly went to bathroom after which is a good thing. Going to talk to Dr's at 600am. They are going to look at some pictures tonight. They will have a clearer idea in am. Was told that if his drain dries up and his count goes down. He will be able to go home Sunday or Monday. That would be awesome! I will keep all informed. Thanks for all the support. I promise I will blog more in Am when I have a clear picture.

Concensus in on Alex

2008-04-17T11:49:00.000-07:00

From Brian: 04/17/08 9:14 a.m.-- Good morning everyone!
The Dr's have decided to go ahead with the less intrusive procedure. The consciences among the board this morning is that the two are not connected. They are still going to go after the one in his abdomen. The hope is that with less infection his body he will be able to heal the other with antibiotics. If after a couple days its still there……Then we will deal with it then(think positive). It involves a very invasive procedure. While he is under today they are thinking about draining his scrotum. Not for sure though. Dr's really do not want to subject his body to the possibility of more infection. His testicle swelling has slightly gone down. If it was a 20 story building he is down to the 16th floor.

Still a long way from the lobby!

So last night Alex felt great. On of two things either he was feeling a little better or the meds finally did there job. I think it was a combination of both. Him and I took a long walk. Had to stop him for fear of the pain he might feel later. He was laughing and joking around. We played guitar hero and had a good time. Around 10 we decided to go on a little adventure. Lets just say both him and I needed to get out of his room. We loaded him up in a wheel chair and took off. The hospital here at night is like a ghost town. So we rode the elevator to several different floors. We also speed tested his wheel chair running down the halls. After many donuts in his wheel chair. We got something to drink in the cafeteria. Then back to the room. He was tired and fell asleep fast. Around 2 he woke up screaming but pain didn't last long.

Today he is feeling pretty good. He is on a no food and drink again. He is eating his breakfast in his Iv this morning. Will keep posted.

Keep up the faith! We are feeling it!

Update: Alex & another surgery

2008-04-16T16:51:00.000-07:00

From Bri: 04/16/08 4:10 p.m.-- Latest news on Alex. Tina Alex and I just met with Dr to discuss Alex's case. So Alex's has two abscesses That are rather Large. His surgery is scheduled for 2:30pm tomorrow(but could be changed). They are going to insert a drain into the abscess using Ct. There is only one access that they can get to with the ct. The other is in a place where they would be unable to get to with out serious risk. There is a slight chance that the two abscesses might be connected. Tomorrow morning Dr's are going to meet to discuss his case in front of a team of Dr's. We are hoping for the ct which is far less intrusive. If not he will have to go into surgery so they can see layer by layer as they go in.

We really need for them to be connected………

Today Alex's meds have been changed from morphine to an oral medication. His pain seems to be in check. He woke up in a great mood. His mind seems to be much clearer today. He had a teacher come to his room to help him work on math. He really enjoyed this. After We loaded him up in a wheel chair and took him down to play bingo. The volunteers her run a bingo game on Wednesdays for the patents. They have great prizes for the kids and everyone is a winner. They broadcast the bingo game threw the TV so Ever child can play. Kids from their rooms call in when they get bingo. Alex enjoyed this. I believe it was nice for him to just get him out of the room. It took a little maneuvering (mom was having a hard time keeping up with his Iv stand). Lets all think positive and keep the prayers coming.

We want our boy healthy!

From me: PRAYERS UP!!

New Update on Alex

2008-04-16T12:33:00.000-07:00

From Brian: 04/16/08 6:45 a.m.-- Well its a new day. I just got the results from Alex's ct scan. There is a reason for all this madness. He has two abscess(pockets of pus). One in his abdomen and one next to his rectum. The course of action to relive this is uncertain right now. My understanding is that they might be able to use a machine similar to the ct machine .It will use computer imaging to insert a drain where needed. This is supposed to be less invasive than full on surgery. Radiology is looking at ct to see if process is possible. As far as his testicles go the best description I can use to describe the appearance is ANGRY. Still extremely swollen and sensitive. Hopeful if he can get his abdomen drained we will start seeing some relief there also.

Last night his pain was tolerable. He slept pretty good. He is currently sawing logs. He wasn't fully awake this morning to hear the Dr's talk. I'm sure when he wakes up he will have 100 and one questions. I know one of the first ones will be "do I have to drink that stuff again?" I sure hope not. If he does he is liable to throw something at me. We hope everyone has a great day. Today is our day….I can feel it! I know you all have Alex in your thoughts. It means more than you know….We love you all……..

Rest In Peace, Gary

2008-04-16T12:18:00.000-07:00

I'd like to ask everyone to please be praying for my friends, Katrina & Wendy, who's dad passed away this past Saturday after a difficult battle with cancer. They also lost their grandfather, their father's father, suddenly on the 2nd. It has been a trying time and a whirlwind of emotions for their family. Wendy gave birth to her first child, Jakob, on St. Patrick's Day, and her dad was ab;e to be there, and hold his first & only grandchild. This was a treasured moment, I know, but also bittersweet. Please keep them all in your prayers during this difficult time.

Rest In Peace, Gary.

I love you, Kat,... (((HUGS)))

The Latest Update on Alex

2008-04-15T22:53:00.000-07:00

From Bri: 04/15/08 9:42 p.m.--Well another day in the books. Today was a very trying day for both Alex and I. Poor guy had a fight with a fever and pain today. Things were a struggle. First his iv stopped working right when the surgeons came to look at his bandage. So he had a bandage change with no morphine. I refused to remove his bandage. Was not going to subject him to pain directly from me. He got through it ......but were some rough moments.

Iv team showed up shortly after the bandage change. Alex has had so many iv's. Since we have been in the hospital no one has got it on the 1st try. So today they missed 3 times got the 4. I was ready to come unglued. So by the time it came to drink his contrast meds we were in for a fight. He wanted no part. He was mentally tired. With some persuasion from dad he was able to get most of it drank. After he got 3/4 done. It was tiring to come back up. He fought back the urge to vomit until the nurse could give him anti nausea medicine. For the next several hrs we waited to get the ct scan. The scan is done and all we have to do is wait for results. Tomorrow we are excited cause mom is coming. I will keep everyone updated as much as I can.

Thanks for all the calls and prayers!

From me: For the life of me, I cannot comprehend why the staff wouldn't wait for the IV team to get there & re-establish his line. From everything Brian has described, poor Alex suffers enough even WITH the morphine so why in the world would the hospital put this child through that excrutiation WITHOUT pain medication??? My heart is just aching for this boy! Please, everybody, keep up the prayers. (((hugs)))

Alex Needs Your Prayers!

2008-04-15T16:58:00.000-07:00

From Bri: 04/15/08 4:00 p.m.-- The results of Alex's white blood count came back bad. Shortly after he came down with a fever. Dr's have decided to give him another ct scan this afternoon. Doing the Ct they have to use a contrast solution. Alex says the solution is like drinking snot. He asked the Dr if there was a pill or another way he could take it. Dr said they could give it to him through his rectum. Alex said lets do it that way. I was shocked..but at this point i don't blame him. As dr was getting ready to leave Alex says "excuse me.....I think I would rather drink the stuff". So how bad must that stuff taste to contemplate getting it rectally.

From me: I don't know what to say, I feel grief stricken for this poor, sweet boy. This is such a tremendous struggle. I can't imagine an adult enduring this as well as this boy is. This child. Please pray for my friend's son... Send out all the positive energy you can to Alex, and to his family so that they can feel the love. Lift them up in prayer! I will continue to pass along updates as Brian posts them.

Update on Alex

2008-04-15T11:31:00.000-07:00

From Brian: 04/15/08 9:47 a.m.-- As u all know this has been quite the ordeal. We have been tackling one obstacle after another head on. Well last night they put one in front of us yet again. They decided that I was to Start changing Alex's dressing. After yesterday morning and all the pain the dressing change caused neither one of us was very excited. Alex was freaked out at the idea of dad getting anywhere near his appendix incision. Honestly I was not excited either. The bandage change went ok. It is a painful thing. His incision is stuffed with gauze. Every time its pulled out it sticks and hurts. I didn't like having to hurt him. He was mad at me, but forgave me quickly. We now have to change his stuffing 2 times a day.

Last night was the first night Alex did not have a fever. His pain was manageable also. He slept as good as possible. They come in every 2 hr and wake him up to check his vitals and give him meds. He was extremely irritable last night (Who can blame him). At on point I had to give him meds he came uncorked and started yelling at me. Which was shocking to me cause that is not Alex's nature. I asked him about it this morning and he had no recollection.

Today his stomach has been cramping. He is uncomfortable. They took blood at 6am to check his blood count. Have not got the results yet…..but lets keep fingers crossed! Just so everyone knows despite everything going on with him Alex is still Alex. He laughs and smiles often. Can't laugh to hard though. He has all kinds of stuff around him and keeps his hands busy. Today we might go down and work on some math. They have a classroom with 2 teachers here. He is very worried about his school work (Brandon if you are reading this take notes from your little bro).

We hope everyone has a great day! Thanks for thinking of Us….

From me: Bri also posted some pictures today,... and I have to say, just at the few I saw, Alex is one tough, young man!! This little guy is going through so much. He is getting awesome support from his dad, and anyone who has ever cared for someone in the hospital like this knows how emotionally & physically draining it is, especially when it's your children, so please remember Brian (& Tina! A mother's heart is a fragile thing!) and pray for their strength & well-being through all of this, too. Keep those prayers going strong, people!! (((HUGS)))

Update from Michelle

2008-04-15T11:10:00.000-07:00

From me: I recieved the following news this morning.

From Michelle: 04/15/08 6:03 a.m.-- Thanks for the prayers - My grandma is back home at the nursing home. They were able to get her blood sugars stabilized and on some meds for bronchitis.

My aunt is also out of the hospital at my cousins house in the cities. They are saying she had fluid around her heart which was causing her problems.