Well, I opened my mouth too soon, didn't I? I checked my voicemail, and it turns out that I got a call this very afternoon,.. a reminder that Ashley's follow-up is fast approaching with the oncologist, and it's once again time to schedule her next MRI. I always get nervous when this time rolls around,.. and unfortunately, it rolls around every 3 months. Every time, my mind races & wonders "Are the tumors still growing??"or "Are they really stable again??" The very mention of chemotherapy makes my stomach churn, and we discuss it's possibility with every visit,... and hopefully it will never come to that, but still,.. there it sits,.. waiting in the shadows. Lerking there, taunting us, and making me miserable at the very thought of my child having to go through it.
For those who don't know, Ashley is our youngest daughter, 6, and she has Neurofibromatosis Type 1, which is a peripheral nerve disorder where tumors grow on those nerves. They're usually benign, but can still cause life-altering and even life-threatening problems. Ashley has these tumors on both of her optic nerves, and although they are benign, they are considered semi-malignant because they threaten her eye-sight. They could cause blindness, among other serious complications. These brain tumors have been growing again now for a year, since last summer, whereas they had been stable for about 2 years before that. Her latest MRI looked as though they may have stabilized again, but we won't know for sure until this next MRI in the next couple of weeks. Thus, my constant fear whenever Ashley has appts coming up.
Anyway,...... there it is. My 'replacement worry',...... Darn it!! Should've waited to check voicemail until tomorrow! *sigh*,.........
Thursday, June 15, 2006
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